The transmission went out on my van................................again! This is the fourth time in two years. I was getting ready to turn into an intersection when it happened so my three kids had to push me off to the side. That has got to be the worst thing you can do to a teenager; making him push your car out of an intersection. Too bad we didn't take a video of it, lol.
Good thing is that our transmission was under warranty so hopefully they can fix it and we can baby it another 10,000 miles.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Another Daily OM
August 28, 2007Exploring An Alternate UniverseWhat Makes People Tick?
All people have their own way of being in the world. It is easiest to comprehend this basic yet profound fact when we consider that every human being on the planet occupies a distinct role in the universe. We grow up in different environments, affected by a unique range of influences. The preferences, values, and beliefs we embrace are frequently related intimately to our origins. And the need to individualize our experiences is instinctive, as doing so enables us to cope when we must face challenges on our own. Consequently, each of us has developed a perspective that is uniquely ours. Interacting peacefully and constructively with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. Then we can adjust our expectations so that we avoid making undue assumptions about what they are about.
In the face of emerging interpersonal conflict, it is easy to assume that others are being difficult, unreasonable, or stubborn. We are apt to grow frustrated when someone in our environment does not share our opinions or feel compelled to support us in our endeavors. It is likely that the individual or individuals before us may simply possess differing notions with regard to what is and what is not important in this life. We can ease the tension that exists between us by reaffirming our belief in the fundamental right of all beings to determine their own destinies. To foster a harmonious relationship, we need to do our best to relate to the unique universes they inhabit. And as we discover what makes them tick, our ability to find a mode of interaction that is pleasing to both of us is enhanced.
When there are barriers keeping you from connecting with someone else, think of questions you can ask them to gain a more thorough understanding of their point of view. You may discover that in addition to the differences in perspective dividing you, they are subject to insecurities and other personal issues that influence their way of seeing the world. It is likely that you will never fully grasp the myriad complexities embodied by humanity, but you can go a long way toward encouraging mutually satisfying relations by reaching out to others in the spirit of sympathetic comprehension.
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Sighhhh. I'm working on it.
All people have their own way of being in the world. It is easiest to comprehend this basic yet profound fact when we consider that every human being on the planet occupies a distinct role in the universe. We grow up in different environments, affected by a unique range of influences. The preferences, values, and beliefs we embrace are frequently related intimately to our origins. And the need to individualize our experiences is instinctive, as doing so enables us to cope when we must face challenges on our own. Consequently, each of us has developed a perspective that is uniquely ours. Interacting peacefully and constructively with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. Then we can adjust our expectations so that we avoid making undue assumptions about what they are about.
In the face of emerging interpersonal conflict, it is easy to assume that others are being difficult, unreasonable, or stubborn. We are apt to grow frustrated when someone in our environment does not share our opinions or feel compelled to support us in our endeavors. It is likely that the individual or individuals before us may simply possess differing notions with regard to what is and what is not important in this life. We can ease the tension that exists between us by reaffirming our belief in the fundamental right of all beings to determine their own destinies. To foster a harmonious relationship, we need to do our best to relate to the unique universes they inhabit. And as we discover what makes them tick, our ability to find a mode of interaction that is pleasing to both of us is enhanced.
When there are barriers keeping you from connecting with someone else, think of questions you can ask them to gain a more thorough understanding of their point of view. You may discover that in addition to the differences in perspective dividing you, they are subject to insecurities and other personal issues that influence their way of seeing the world. It is likely that you will never fully grasp the myriad complexities embodied by humanity, but you can go a long way toward encouraging mutually satisfying relations by reaching out to others in the spirit of sympathetic comprehension.
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Sighhhh. I'm working on it.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
School Update
We are on day three. I have so many mixed emotions it's hard to blog on it. The female hormones are a little out of whack this week too so that doesn't help.
I wouldn't say Kev is excited about school but getting through it. I expected for him to have a little more emotion on the whole thing, whether bad or good, but he seems a little blase about all of it. He thinks he is really going to enjoy Japanese, Choir, and English but really couldn't care less about the rest. And he HATES science; hates the teacher, thinks the curriculum is boring, really doesn't like anything about it. The curriculum is stuff he already knows lots about so it's a little mundane. He thought he was going to see his friends a lot but he doesn't have lunch with any of them and he only has a couple of classes with two of them. I will have to say though he is very organized, which isn't a characteristic I have seen much of. He gets home, gets his stuff done and goes to bed.
Dropping him off at the school the first day was extremely eery, that is really the only way I can explain it. All the things about school that just make me cringe was right there in front of me. Like a bunch of bees swarming to their nest, into the box they go. And all day all I could think of was him sitting in this classroom, listening to a teacher talk about stuff, of which much he will never take with him on his life journey, and then shuffle on to the next classroom. It just made me sad. And then he heads to swim practice and I don't see him until 5:00!! When he gets home he barely has the energy for his homework and then he crashes. He absolutely has no free time to pursue the things that he is so passionate about, and he has a lot of passions. He hardly has the energy for youth court, which is something he really enjoys. And I feel like there are only two children living at home right now.
But this is what he wants to do so he will never see me tear up when I drop him off and he will never hear all those voices in my head that say, "please don't go". I will be very surprised if he does another year. We have a homeschool/charter school here where he can do most of the classes at home but has the option of taking classes at the school if he wants. If he wants former schooling I hope he takes that path next year. At least that way he still has the freedom and still has time to pursue other things.
I wouldn't say Kev is excited about school but getting through it. I expected for him to have a little more emotion on the whole thing, whether bad or good, but he seems a little blase about all of it. He thinks he is really going to enjoy Japanese, Choir, and English but really couldn't care less about the rest. And he HATES science; hates the teacher, thinks the curriculum is boring, really doesn't like anything about it. The curriculum is stuff he already knows lots about so it's a little mundane. He thought he was going to see his friends a lot but he doesn't have lunch with any of them and he only has a couple of classes with two of them. I will have to say though he is very organized, which isn't a characteristic I have seen much of. He gets home, gets his stuff done and goes to bed.
Dropping him off at the school the first day was extremely eery, that is really the only way I can explain it. All the things about school that just make me cringe was right there in front of me. Like a bunch of bees swarming to their nest, into the box they go. And all day all I could think of was him sitting in this classroom, listening to a teacher talk about stuff, of which much he will never take with him on his life journey, and then shuffle on to the next classroom. It just made me sad. And then he heads to swim practice and I don't see him until 5:00!! When he gets home he barely has the energy for his homework and then he crashes. He absolutely has no free time to pursue the things that he is so passionate about, and he has a lot of passions. He hardly has the energy for youth court, which is something he really enjoys. And I feel like there are only two children living at home right now.
But this is what he wants to do so he will never see me tear up when I drop him off and he will never hear all those voices in my head that say, "please don't go". I will be very surprised if he does another year. We have a homeschool/charter school here where he can do most of the classes at home but has the option of taking classes at the school if he wants. If he wants former schooling I hope he takes that path next year. At least that way he still has the freedom and still has time to pursue other things.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
this and that
Wow, I haven't blogged since the 8th of August! It's been a little crazy around here and it's nice to have everything calmed down and somewhat normal.
Martin had family here all of July and the first part of this month with the ENTIRE family here for a week. He has four siblings and with all of their spouses and kids there were about 20 of us. We had a grand time; did some hiking, shopping, eating, and just hanging out. A good friend, Karen Demmert and her son, Nicholas, were here too. Karen provided loads of entertainment, as she is quite comical. We hiked Lazy Mountain, a fairly difficult hike, and she mostly slipped and slided both up and down the mountain. We had a bit of rain before the hike so it was pretty muddy and then Karen had no traction on her shoes. I think my stomach got more of a workout than my legs because I was laughing so hard.
The last week ended with Lois and Merle's (Martin's parents) 50th wedding anniversary. Lots of their friends showed up to wish them well and it was touching to see the legacy that they are leaving behind for their children. My parents were also married for almost 37 years at the time of my mother's death. I think it is special that both Martin and I were left with great examples of what a marriage can be.
After the family left last week I headed up to Fairbanks with Tristan and Calista. Kevin just started highschool swim team so he couldn't come with us. We stayed with my good friend Sheli and just hung out and had a good time. Her daughter, Maija and Calista are bosom buddies and it had been six months since they had seen each other so they were attached at the hip the entire four days. Milo and Tristan are pretty good friends too so everyone was pretty happy! I spent an afternoon with my grandma and grandpa, who are getting ready to move from a big house to a condo. Grandpa has Parkinson's, which is progressing and they just can't handle the house, the stairs, and everything that goes with caring for a house and landscaping. Ironically, Sheli's sister and her family are buying the house so I will be able to see it once in a while.
This weekend we went and got the rest of the things that Kev needs for school. It gives me a really odd feeling to enter into the system for the first time. There are a lot of arbitrary things that the system has in place that gets me going once in a while but somehow we will get through it. He always has the freedom to come home if he hates it, just as he made the choice to go in the first place.
One of the things that was a little frustrating is the whole immunization thing. We choose not to immunize our children, although Kev has mostly been immunized because I didn't question much when he was little. We found a WONDERFUL naturopathic MD in town that signed his opt out form. At first we were told that we just had to sign a opt out form but when it came down to finishing the registration process we ended up having to either sign a religious opt out or medical opt out. The religious one didn't work because you have to actually be a member of a church that practices no immunizations. The doctor that we have been seeing wouldn't sign it so we had to go in search of an MD who practices naturopathically. I can't believe we found one in Wasilla!! He is a younger doctor, probably right around my age (35 or so) who doesn't care for the way doctors approach medicine. Kev has been eating vegan and is pretty committed to living that way so the doctor gave him a list of supplements that he needs to be taking and talked a lot with him about things he needs to have in his diet. He also talked about the slight acne he is dealing with. I was just so excited to find someone that thinks like us! We talked about things totally unrelated to medicine too because we have so much in common. We will definitely be establishing a long-term relationship with him as our family doctor.
Anyway, Kev has everything he needs to enter his freshman year. He is a little nervous but also excited. I think the thing he is most excited about is that the school offers Japanese, which was a big motivation for him to go to school. He is nervous about the math thing, as he has had very little written math but I'm sure he will be fine. He won't have the pressure from us to have to perform and get good grades so it's not a biggie. For him school is a tool he is going to pick up and use.............period. It's not the end all, be all for his life.
I have lots of pictures that I may or may not post later. It seems that I have less and less time to be on the computer, or should I say less time that I want to spend on the computer. Part of it is because we are all sharing one computer. Martin's computer even crashed this last week. He had to get a new hard drive so he lost EVERYTHING. He didn't have any of his realty stuff backed up so it was a hard lesson! I ordered myself a new spring green Dell but it isn't here yet; can't wait! Calista has decided to spend part of her Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend (PFD) on her own computer too so we will have enough computers in the house for everyone to use. For those of you who don't know what the PFD is, it is the oil money that is in a fund and every Alaska resident gets some of the interest from that fund. This year the checks will be about $1575.00!
Martin had family here all of July and the first part of this month with the ENTIRE family here for a week. He has four siblings and with all of their spouses and kids there were about 20 of us. We had a grand time; did some hiking, shopping, eating, and just hanging out. A good friend, Karen Demmert and her son, Nicholas, were here too. Karen provided loads of entertainment, as she is quite comical. We hiked Lazy Mountain, a fairly difficult hike, and she mostly slipped and slided both up and down the mountain. We had a bit of rain before the hike so it was pretty muddy and then Karen had no traction on her shoes. I think my stomach got more of a workout than my legs because I was laughing so hard.
The last week ended with Lois and Merle's (Martin's parents) 50th wedding anniversary. Lots of their friends showed up to wish them well and it was touching to see the legacy that they are leaving behind for their children. My parents were also married for almost 37 years at the time of my mother's death. I think it is special that both Martin and I were left with great examples of what a marriage can be.
After the family left last week I headed up to Fairbanks with Tristan and Calista. Kevin just started highschool swim team so he couldn't come with us. We stayed with my good friend Sheli and just hung out and had a good time. Her daughter, Maija and Calista are bosom buddies and it had been six months since they had seen each other so they were attached at the hip the entire four days. Milo and Tristan are pretty good friends too so everyone was pretty happy! I spent an afternoon with my grandma and grandpa, who are getting ready to move from a big house to a condo. Grandpa has Parkinson's, which is progressing and they just can't handle the house, the stairs, and everything that goes with caring for a house and landscaping. Ironically, Sheli's sister and her family are buying the house so I will be able to see it once in a while.
This weekend we went and got the rest of the things that Kev needs for school. It gives me a really odd feeling to enter into the system for the first time. There are a lot of arbitrary things that the system has in place that gets me going once in a while but somehow we will get through it. He always has the freedom to come home if he hates it, just as he made the choice to go in the first place.
One of the things that was a little frustrating is the whole immunization thing. We choose not to immunize our children, although Kev has mostly been immunized because I didn't question much when he was little. We found a WONDERFUL naturopathic MD in town that signed his opt out form. At first we were told that we just had to sign a opt out form but when it came down to finishing the registration process we ended up having to either sign a religious opt out or medical opt out. The religious one didn't work because you have to actually be a member of a church that practices no immunizations. The doctor that we have been seeing wouldn't sign it so we had to go in search of an MD who practices naturopathically. I can't believe we found one in Wasilla!! He is a younger doctor, probably right around my age (35 or so) who doesn't care for the way doctors approach medicine. Kev has been eating vegan and is pretty committed to living that way so the doctor gave him a list of supplements that he needs to be taking and talked a lot with him about things he needs to have in his diet. He also talked about the slight acne he is dealing with. I was just so excited to find someone that thinks like us! We talked about things totally unrelated to medicine too because we have so much in common. We will definitely be establishing a long-term relationship with him as our family doctor.
Anyway, Kev has everything he needs to enter his freshman year. He is a little nervous but also excited. I think the thing he is most excited about is that the school offers Japanese, which was a big motivation for him to go to school. He is nervous about the math thing, as he has had very little written math but I'm sure he will be fine. He won't have the pressure from us to have to perform and get good grades so it's not a biggie. For him school is a tool he is going to pick up and use.............period. It's not the end all, be all for his life.
I have lots of pictures that I may or may not post later. It seems that I have less and less time to be on the computer, or should I say less time that I want to spend on the computer. Part of it is because we are all sharing one computer. Martin's computer even crashed this last week. He had to get a new hard drive so he lost EVERYTHING. He didn't have any of his realty stuff backed up so it was a hard lesson! I ordered myself a new spring green Dell but it isn't here yet; can't wait! Calista has decided to spend part of her Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend (PFD) on her own computer too so we will have enough computers in the house for everyone to use. For those of you who don't know what the PFD is, it is the oil money that is in a fund and every Alaska resident gets some of the interest from that fund. This year the checks will be about $1575.00!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Happy Birthday Tristan!!
Wow, so much to blog about from this last two weeks. We've been surrounded by family and have had the most hectic, crazy, fun two weeks! But I will blog about all of that later because today is Tristan's 12th birthday!
My second child who came into this world in 1 hr and 20 minutes and who goes through life just as tornado like. He has challenged ALL of my beliefs and opinions on parenting and has taught me how to put down the old tools and use some new ones. He has been challenging, frustrating, exciting, extremely intuitive, contagiously zealous, living life on the edge; ONE INCREDIBLE HUMAN BEING!!
He made it very clear at a very early age that he DOES NOT like birthday parties! Does not like the attention on him, does not like the planning and thought that goes into them, really does not like anything about them!! So there! It is a challenge for me every year on how to make his day special without him feeling like he is putting people out or feeling like all attention is on him. Last year Richard's dad, Ernie, took him flying and it was absolutely PERFECT! Don't know if I will ever be able to beat that one. He has yet to tell me what he wants to do on this special day so I took it upon myself to invite his two best buddies over. Hopefully we can go bowling or go-karting or something that will make this day extra special.
I did buy him guitar hero, which he has been wanting for quite some time. Awful thing is that his XBox is not working and we have to send it into Microsoft to be repaired; that just bites! He also would like to have a cell phone and there have been several times over the last few weeks where I wish he had one so we might go check those out today too.
He also got lunch out with Grandpa Royal and Nancy yesterday who so kindly invited the rest of us too. He chose Evangelo's, a wonderful italian restaurant here. They gave him a piece of cheesecake so we got to sing happy birthday to him there. After lunch we went next door to a used car dealer to check out the old mustangs and corvettes that were on the lot.
Happy Birthday Tristan!! You make our lives extra special!!
My second child who came into this world in 1 hr and 20 minutes and who goes through life just as tornado like. He has challenged ALL of my beliefs and opinions on parenting and has taught me how to put down the old tools and use some new ones. He has been challenging, frustrating, exciting, extremely intuitive, contagiously zealous, living life on the edge; ONE INCREDIBLE HUMAN BEING!!
He made it very clear at a very early age that he DOES NOT like birthday parties! Does not like the attention on him, does not like the planning and thought that goes into them, really does not like anything about them!! So there! It is a challenge for me every year on how to make his day special without him feeling like he is putting people out or feeling like all attention is on him. Last year Richard's dad, Ernie, took him flying and it was absolutely PERFECT! Don't know if I will ever be able to beat that one. He has yet to tell me what he wants to do on this special day so I took it upon myself to invite his two best buddies over. Hopefully we can go bowling or go-karting or something that will make this day extra special.
I did buy him guitar hero, which he has been wanting for quite some time. Awful thing is that his XBox is not working and we have to send it into Microsoft to be repaired; that just bites! He also would like to have a cell phone and there have been several times over the last few weeks where I wish he had one so we might go check those out today too.
He also got lunch out with Grandpa Royal and Nancy yesterday who so kindly invited the rest of us too. He chose Evangelo's, a wonderful italian restaurant here. They gave him a piece of cheesecake so we got to sing happy birthday to him there. After lunch we went next door to a used car dealer to check out the old mustangs and corvettes that were on the lot.
Happy Birthday Tristan!! You make our lives extra special!!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Space In Togetherness
Another Daily Om that goes so well with yesterdays:
As relationships evolve, lives gradually become entwined. We tend to have a great deal in common with the people who attract us, and our regard for them compels us to trust their judgment. While our lives may seem to run together so smoothly that the line dividing them cannot be seen, we remain separate beings. To disregard these barriers is to sacrifice independence. It is our respect for the fact that our lives exist independently of the lives of others that allows us to set emotional and physical boundaries, to explore our interests and capabilities even when people close to us do not understand our partialities, and to agree to disagree. Maintaining healthy barriers is a matter of recognizing the point at which our principles and those of our loved ones and peers no longer overlap.
Human beings must relentlessly fight the temptation to follow the crowd. Naturally, we want to be liked, accepted, and admired, and it often seems that the easiest way to win approval is to ally ourselves with others. When we assume that our standards are the same as those of the people close to us without first examining our own intentions, we do ourselves a disservice. The barriers that exist between us are a reminder that our paths in life will be unique, and we must each accept that "I" and "we" can coexist peacefully. Our reactions, our likes and dislikes, our loves, our goals, and our dreams may or may not align with those of others, but we should neither ask others to embrace what we hold dear nor feel compelled to embrace what they hold dear.
As you learn to define yourself as an emotionally and intellectually distinct individual, you will grow to appreciate your autonomy. However much you enjoy the associations that bind you to others and provide you with a sense of identity, your concept of self will ultimately originate in your own soul. The healthy barriers that tell you where you end and the people around you begin will give you the freedom to pursue your development apart from those whose approval you might otherwise be tempted to seek out. Others will continue to play a role in your existence, but their values will not direct its course, and the relationships you share will remain marvelously balanced and harmonious as a result.
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I often feel the need to change another rather than just accept the differences and be comfortable with my Self. What other's hold dear will not effect me and my Self so I can focus on bringing peace and joy into my own life and still share with others those things that we have in common. I just love that last sentence: Others will continue to play a role in your existence, but their values will not direct its course, and the relationships you share will remain marvelously balanced and harmonious as a result.
As relationships evolve, lives gradually become entwined. We tend to have a great deal in common with the people who attract us, and our regard for them compels us to trust their judgment. While our lives may seem to run together so smoothly that the line dividing them cannot be seen, we remain separate beings. To disregard these barriers is to sacrifice independence. It is our respect for the fact that our lives exist independently of the lives of others that allows us to set emotional and physical boundaries, to explore our interests and capabilities even when people close to us do not understand our partialities, and to agree to disagree. Maintaining healthy barriers is a matter of recognizing the point at which our principles and those of our loved ones and peers no longer overlap.
Human beings must relentlessly fight the temptation to follow the crowd. Naturally, we want to be liked, accepted, and admired, and it often seems that the easiest way to win approval is to ally ourselves with others. When we assume that our standards are the same as those of the people close to us without first examining our own intentions, we do ourselves a disservice. The barriers that exist between us are a reminder that our paths in life will be unique, and we must each accept that "I" and "we" can coexist peacefully. Our reactions, our likes and dislikes, our loves, our goals, and our dreams may or may not align with those of others, but we should neither ask others to embrace what we hold dear nor feel compelled to embrace what they hold dear.
As you learn to define yourself as an emotionally and intellectually distinct individual, you will grow to appreciate your autonomy. However much you enjoy the associations that bind you to others and provide you with a sense of identity, your concept of self will ultimately originate in your own soul. The healthy barriers that tell you where you end and the people around you begin will give you the freedom to pursue your development apart from those whose approval you might otherwise be tempted to seek out. Others will continue to play a role in your existence, but their values will not direct its course, and the relationships you share will remain marvelously balanced and harmonious as a result.
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I often feel the need to change another rather than just accept the differences and be comfortable with my Self. What other's hold dear will not effect me and my Self so I can focus on bringing peace and joy into my own life and still share with others those things that we have in common. I just love that last sentence: Others will continue to play a role in your existence, but their values will not direct its course, and the relationships you share will remain marvelously balanced and harmonious as a result.
Wanting to Join
From the Daily OM:
The ability to go into any social situation and sense the level of consciousness in that situation is a gift. It enables us to move considerately in a world that holds people of all levels of awareness. However, there is a difference between shifting our energy to accommodate people and dumbing ourselves down to a regrettable degree. Sometimes, when we get into a particular social situation, we may feel pressure to play it small in order to fit in. Perhaps everyone is drinking or smoking excessively, engaging in gossipy small talk, or complaining bitterly about politics. It is one thing to notice this and modify our expectations and another thing entirely to join in.
When we notice where people are coming from and acknowledge to ourselves that their energy is not in alignment with ours, we have several choices as to how to proceed. One viable option is to quietly endure the situation, keeping to ourselves until it is time to leave. In this way, we take care of our own consciousness and protect our growth process. Another option is to interact in a way that honors and pays respect to the people in the group, while gently attempting to shift the level of consciousness with our input. In order to do this, we must maintain our own vibration, which means that joining in by dumbing down is not an option.
When we choose to dumb ourselves down to fit in, we not only sell ourselves short but we also lose a possible opportunity to influence the situation for the good of all concerned. Our desire to join in may come from our natural yearning to feel connected to the people around us. There is no shame in this, but being able to stand on our own, separate from the crowd, is a powerful milestone on any spiritual path. It can be difficult in the moment, but when we arrive on the other side, our integrity intact, we may find ourselves feeling positively smart.
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This is something that I struggle with and I just need to learn to let go and be myself and learn not to get sucked in. We naturally have a desire to be accepted and loved but often it is at the expense of Self.
The ability to go into any social situation and sense the level of consciousness in that situation is a gift. It enables us to move considerately in a world that holds people of all levels of awareness. However, there is a difference between shifting our energy to accommodate people and dumbing ourselves down to a regrettable degree. Sometimes, when we get into a particular social situation, we may feel pressure to play it small in order to fit in. Perhaps everyone is drinking or smoking excessively, engaging in gossipy small talk, or complaining bitterly about politics. It is one thing to notice this and modify our expectations and another thing entirely to join in.
When we notice where people are coming from and acknowledge to ourselves that their energy is not in alignment with ours, we have several choices as to how to proceed. One viable option is to quietly endure the situation, keeping to ourselves until it is time to leave. In this way, we take care of our own consciousness and protect our growth process. Another option is to interact in a way that honors and pays respect to the people in the group, while gently attempting to shift the level of consciousness with our input. In order to do this, we must maintain our own vibration, which means that joining in by dumbing down is not an option.
When we choose to dumb ourselves down to fit in, we not only sell ourselves short but we also lose a possible opportunity to influence the situation for the good of all concerned. Our desire to join in may come from our natural yearning to feel connected to the people around us. There is no shame in this, but being able to stand on our own, separate from the crowd, is a powerful milestone on any spiritual path. It can be difficult in the moment, but when we arrive on the other side, our integrity intact, we may find ourselves feeling positively smart.
----------------------------------
This is something that I struggle with and I just need to learn to let go and be myself and learn not to get sucked in. We naturally have a desire to be accepted and loved but often it is at the expense of Self.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
America is driven, but the world questions our destination
The following is an article that appeared in our local paper several months ago. It has been hanging on my fridge and I read it quite often. I would like to share it with the rest of you.
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Written by Todd South
I feel most like an American while driving. The movement mimics my country's attitude.
Each year, things go faster. There's always something more important to do, somewhere more important to go.
Where we're going, why are we going there so fast? What are we missing along the way?
That's the image I think the rest of the world has of us. Still moving but not going anywhere.
I'm not going to share patriotic writing that rallied the troops and citizens. The author who best tells the story of Americans wasn't too popular in his own time.
Henry David Thoreau was a bit of an outsider. He also didn't care much for any transportation outside of his own two feet.
The American I love is the nation of outsiders, nonconformists, and dreamers because America, at its core, is about possibility.
The work that illustrates this best is "Walden." Thoreau stepped away from the bustling towns of 19th-centruy Massachusetts and found solitude in the woods.
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life," Thoreau tells readers, "and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
In his cabin, he laid out thoughts that struck to the heart of what a person's life should be about. He questioned the status quo and challenged readers to examine what they considered commonplace.
For generations, we have been put to sleep by promises of comfort and security. While leading the world in material development, we have neglected our character development. Thoreau said, "The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation."
Our nation is leading its own life of quiet desperation, and we don't even realize it. Much of the world doesn't like American now.
Like our country, I know what that feels like. I served my country as a US Marine Corps sergeant in 2003 in Iraq. I was my comanding officer's driver. I drove onto and off a ship. I drove through camps and cities. Across borders and through deserts I drove. I passed camels and men who walked for days to reach a tent they called home.
I drove around bombed-out-buildings and through hawklike stares of dark men who hated me.
Once I returned home, people asked me about Iraq. I can't say too much I saw it from behind a steering wheel. But I've seen most of America from behind a steering wheel, too, always going somewhere, never really in a place, just passing through.
In Iraq, I was insulated from the people we were liberating by a thin sheet of glass and a plastic door. The Humvee I drove stood out as the only patch of green ina whirlwind of hot, brown sand and an impossibly blue sky. But the dirty glass and green plastic door were enough to divide liberated and liberators, as our president called us.
Most Americans I see are a bit more comfortable in air-conditioned, cushioned-seated cocoons rolling through cities and across this land, but they're still cut off.
If we listened to Thoreau, we might question our push forward, our need for more and more and more. We might recognize that the hope with which we once inspired other nations is now seen as sheer greed.
We might see that showcasing giant personal vehicles, immense wardrobes and eating contests to the world does not arouse others to follow our example.
In "Walden," Thoreau advocates a maxim that holds true still: simplify, simplify, simplify! He returns to the idea that people should question what they do and why they do it.
I believe we could once again lead the world through our actions and not just our spending. But this can happen only by looking inward and taking full account of our culture and what this nation is really about.
Self-determination and sacrifice, leading a deliberate life - these are the ideals that show what America was once and still wants to emulate.
If we showed the world these core principles of what America is beneath all the surface garbage we've built over generations, then others would again follow our lead.
--------------------------
Written by Todd South
I feel most like an American while driving. The movement mimics my country's attitude.
Each year, things go faster. There's always something more important to do, somewhere more important to go.
Where we're going, why are we going there so fast? What are we missing along the way?
That's the image I think the rest of the world has of us. Still moving but not going anywhere.
I'm not going to share patriotic writing that rallied the troops and citizens. The author who best tells the story of Americans wasn't too popular in his own time.
Henry David Thoreau was a bit of an outsider. He also didn't care much for any transportation outside of his own two feet.
The American I love is the nation of outsiders, nonconformists, and dreamers because America, at its core, is about possibility.
The work that illustrates this best is "Walden." Thoreau stepped away from the bustling towns of 19th-centruy Massachusetts and found solitude in the woods.
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life," Thoreau tells readers, "and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
In his cabin, he laid out thoughts that struck to the heart of what a person's life should be about. He questioned the status quo and challenged readers to examine what they considered commonplace.
For generations, we have been put to sleep by promises of comfort and security. While leading the world in material development, we have neglected our character development. Thoreau said, "The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation."
Our nation is leading its own life of quiet desperation, and we don't even realize it. Much of the world doesn't like American now.
Like our country, I know what that feels like. I served my country as a US Marine Corps sergeant in 2003 in Iraq. I was my comanding officer's driver. I drove onto and off a ship. I drove through camps and cities. Across borders and through deserts I drove. I passed camels and men who walked for days to reach a tent they called home.
I drove around bombed-out-buildings and through hawklike stares of dark men who hated me.
Once I returned home, people asked me about Iraq. I can't say too much I saw it from behind a steering wheel. But I've seen most of America from behind a steering wheel, too, always going somewhere, never really in a place, just passing through.
In Iraq, I was insulated from the people we were liberating by a thin sheet of glass and a plastic door. The Humvee I drove stood out as the only patch of green ina whirlwind of hot, brown sand and an impossibly blue sky. But the dirty glass and green plastic door were enough to divide liberated and liberators, as our president called us.
Most Americans I see are a bit more comfortable in air-conditioned, cushioned-seated cocoons rolling through cities and across this land, but they're still cut off.
If we listened to Thoreau, we might question our push forward, our need for more and more and more. We might recognize that the hope with which we once inspired other nations is now seen as sheer greed.
We might see that showcasing giant personal vehicles, immense wardrobes and eating contests to the world does not arouse others to follow our example.
In "Walden," Thoreau advocates a maxim that holds true still: simplify, simplify, simplify! He returns to the idea that people should question what they do and why they do it.
I believe we could once again lead the world through our actions and not just our spending. But this can happen only by looking inward and taking full account of our culture and what this nation is really about.
Self-determination and sacrifice, leading a deliberate life - these are the ideals that show what America was once and still wants to emulate.
If we showed the world these core principles of what America is beneath all the surface garbage we've built over generations, then others would again follow our lead.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Harry Potter
I'm just barely catching up on my lack of sleep from taking the kids to the Harry Potter movie opening and then the book comes out!! Of course we had to go to the book release party at Barnes and Noble silly!!
Naahhh, just teasing, it was loads of fun! Martin and I found a corner, by women's studies, lol, and sat down to read our own books and people watch! Some people were sooo into character and it was quite entertaining. My favorite was the fat lady, carrying around a big frame in front of her. We got lots of pictures which I will upload later.
We now have five teens camped out at our house. They tried to stay up all night reading the book but it is awfully quiet in this house and one of them is crashed on the couch.
Tonight we are off to our first overnight camping trip, in the motorhome, this summer. Looking forward to relaxing and sleeping :)
Naahhh, just teasing, it was loads of fun! Martin and I found a corner, by women's studies, lol, and sat down to read our own books and people watch! Some people were sooo into character and it was quite entertaining. My favorite was the fat lady, carrying around a big frame in front of her. We got lots of pictures which I will upload later.
We now have five teens camped out at our house. They tried to stay up all night reading the book but it is awfully quiet in this house and one of them is crashed on the couch.
Tonight we are off to our first overnight camping trip, in the motorhome, this summer. Looking forward to relaxing and sleeping :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Okay, so amazing how this universe works!! I posted this morning on my journey away from Christianity and the need to constantly grow and change and not feel like I have it all figured out. I get home this evening and open my e-mail and this is what my Daily OM said:
Living in an information age, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the constant influx of scientific studies, breaking news, and even spiritual revelations that fill our bookshelves, radio waves, and in-boxes. No sooner have we decided what to eat or how to think about the universe than a new study or book comes out confounding our well-researched opinion. After a while, we may be tempted to dismiss or ignore new information in the interest of stabilizing our point of view, and this is understandable. Rather than closing down, we might try instead to remain open by allowing our intuition to guide us.
For example, contradictory studies concerning foods that are good for you and foods that are bad for you are plentiful. At a certain point, though, we can feel for ourselves whether coffee or tomatoes are good for us or not. The answer is different for each individual, and this is something that a scientific study can’t quite account for. All we can do is take in the information and process it through our own systems of understanding. In the end, only we can decide what information, ideas, and concepts we will integrate. Remaining open allows us to continually change and shift by checking in with ourselves as we learn new information. It keeps us flexible and alert, and while it can feel a bit like being thrown off balance all the time, this openness is essential to the process of growth and expansion.
Perhaps the key is realizing that we are not going to finally get to some stable place of having it all figured out. Throughout our lives we will go through the processes of opening to new information, integrating it, and stabilizing our worldview. No sooner will we have reached some kind of stability than it will be time to open again to new information, which is inherently destabilizing. If we see ourselves as surfers riding the incoming waves of information and inspiration, always open and willing to attune ourselves to the next shift, we will see how blessed we are to have this opportunity to play on the waves and, most of all, to enjoy the ride.
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So true that intuition is sooooo important. We have all the answers inside us- we just have to learn to listen. Like the book The Four Agreements explains, we have all been "domesticated" and it's not easy to shut those other voices off; all those things that we have been taught as truth that were only someone elses truth and not our own.
Living in an information age, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the constant influx of scientific studies, breaking news, and even spiritual revelations that fill our bookshelves, radio waves, and in-boxes. No sooner have we decided what to eat or how to think about the universe than a new study or book comes out confounding our well-researched opinion. After a while, we may be tempted to dismiss or ignore new information in the interest of stabilizing our point of view, and this is understandable. Rather than closing down, we might try instead to remain open by allowing our intuition to guide us.
For example, contradictory studies concerning foods that are good for you and foods that are bad for you are plentiful. At a certain point, though, we can feel for ourselves whether coffee or tomatoes are good for us or not. The answer is different for each individual, and this is something that a scientific study can’t quite account for. All we can do is take in the information and process it through our own systems of understanding. In the end, only we can decide what information, ideas, and concepts we will integrate. Remaining open allows us to continually change and shift by checking in with ourselves as we learn new information. It keeps us flexible and alert, and while it can feel a bit like being thrown off balance all the time, this openness is essential to the process of growth and expansion.
Perhaps the key is realizing that we are not going to finally get to some stable place of having it all figured out. Throughout our lives we will go through the processes of opening to new information, integrating it, and stabilizing our worldview. No sooner will we have reached some kind of stability than it will be time to open again to new information, which is inherently destabilizing. If we see ourselves as surfers riding the incoming waves of information and inspiration, always open and willing to attune ourselves to the next shift, we will see how blessed we are to have this opportunity to play on the waves and, most of all, to enjoy the ride.
------------------------------------------
So true that intuition is sooooo important. We have all the answers inside us- we just have to learn to listen. Like the book The Four Agreements explains, we have all been "domesticated" and it's not easy to shut those other voices off; all those things that we have been taught as truth that were only someone elses truth and not our own.
Christianity
I've been so busy enjoying our very short summer that I just haven't had the time to blog like I do in the winter. I've also been a little stymied, due to my complete focus on some research that I have been a little caught up in.
I was raised in a very strict, fundamental, cult-like Christian sect that taught us to never question but to just have 'faith'. I left that church five years ago and became a member of another Christian church that, unlike the church I grew up in was not black and white in their thinking, still taught to "just have faith", to not question.
So many questions rose up in me all through my life, not only about the church I grew up in but questions about Jesus and Christianity in general. My focus five years ago was to challenge the history and validity of this sect I grew up in. I satisfied those questions quite quickly and I didn't have to look very far. But those nagging questions about Christianity continued to pop up in my mind, so many things that just don't make sense to me, yet I continued to "believe" because that is what I was taught to do. Besides the fact that so many things in the Bible don't make sense and don't add up, the Bible was telling me things that just didn't line up with what I was actually experiencing with God. I just couldn't ignore it any longer.
I have spent the last several months researching and discovering things that make me completely in awe of how ignorant man can actually be. How much we take for truth without every questioning it. And it isn't just religion, it's everything; our government and all of it's institutions, the media, the masses. It's really quite pathetic and I'm quite guilty.
My journey through unschooling has slowly taught me to question everything and to not mindlessly think in a certain way and do things just because "somebody said" or some book printed it or the government thought it was good and healthy. The more questions I ask, regarding the Bible and Christianity, the more answers I receive and the more I move away from it. And I know there is validity to the answers I am receiving because I have an inner peace that I have not felt before. I am completely content with where I am and where I am going and that means something to me.
There is a Japanese word that a friend has on her license plate- Kaizen. The Japanese definition is "change for the better", the English translation is "continuous improvement". There will always be room for change and growth, always more to learn and discover. I never want to think that I have all the answers or that I have it figured out so much that I will never change my opinion on things. This world is so full of wonder and things we will never have the answers for and I will continue to question, research, and discover.
I was raised in a very strict, fundamental, cult-like Christian sect that taught us to never question but to just have 'faith'. I left that church five years ago and became a member of another Christian church that, unlike the church I grew up in was not black and white in their thinking, still taught to "just have faith", to not question.
So many questions rose up in me all through my life, not only about the church I grew up in but questions about Jesus and Christianity in general. My focus five years ago was to challenge the history and validity of this sect I grew up in. I satisfied those questions quite quickly and I didn't have to look very far. But those nagging questions about Christianity continued to pop up in my mind, so many things that just don't make sense to me, yet I continued to "believe" because that is what I was taught to do. Besides the fact that so many things in the Bible don't make sense and don't add up, the Bible was telling me things that just didn't line up with what I was actually experiencing with God. I just couldn't ignore it any longer.
I have spent the last several months researching and discovering things that make me completely in awe of how ignorant man can actually be. How much we take for truth without every questioning it. And it isn't just religion, it's everything; our government and all of it's institutions, the media, the masses. It's really quite pathetic and I'm quite guilty.
My journey through unschooling has slowly taught me to question everything and to not mindlessly think in a certain way and do things just because "somebody said" or some book printed it or the government thought it was good and healthy. The more questions I ask, regarding the Bible and Christianity, the more answers I receive and the more I move away from it. And I know there is validity to the answers I am receiving because I have an inner peace that I have not felt before. I am completely content with where I am and where I am going and that means something to me.
There is a Japanese word that a friend has on her license plate- Kaizen. The Japanese definition is "change for the better", the English translation is "continuous improvement". There will always be room for change and growth, always more to learn and discover. I never want to think that I have all the answers or that I have it figured out so much that I will never change my opinion on things. This world is so full of wonder and things we will never have the answers for and I will continue to question, research, and discover.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Awesome week!!
It's been an incredibly wonderful week filled with friends, family, and a lot of fun!!
Last Wednesday was Rylee's birthday. We went to H2Oasis, the local indoor waterpark, and swam for a couple of hours and then on to my sister's house for food and birthday cake. She's six years old; hard to believe!
Last Friday we went up to Girdwood (about 70 miles south of where we live) and went to the Forest Fair; a fun, hippie festival where I was completely in my element! They had tons of booths, food, and great music. The teenagers didn't appreciate it as much as Tanya and I so they spent most of the time in the car listening to their own music, but that was fine with us. Problem was when we got back to the car they didn't actually turn the car on and they ran my battery out so we were dead in Girdwood. I had to go around asking people for a jump and finally rounded up this nice young man. He was quite proud of himself; bragging about money and how he was getting ready to get drafted by the NHL and offered to hook us up with some NHL stars, lol! Quite entertaining.
Saturday morning we met Martin's mom, dad, sister, and niece, and my sister, brother-in-law, and niece for lunch at Vagabond's. I then took Rylee out to pick her own birthday present out because I just couldn't think of anything to get her last week. Saturday night Martin and I took the kids, along with a couple of Kev's friends to Ratatouille. What a great movie! We are definitely buying that one.
Monday we hung out with friends, I went with my friend Tanya to get her nose pierced (so pretty!), and then I went to yoga (as usual).
Then last night was really exciting, lol! 14 of us headed into Anchorage around 5:30, went to dinner, the mall, and then headed over to the theatre for the Harry Potter opening. We got to the theatre at 9:00 (the movie didn't start until 12:00) and sat around chit chatting for three hours. It actually went by pretty fast, having my best friends there to talk with. And at least we got good seats! I hate those openings when you end up getting stuck up in the very front! We didn't pull into the driveway until just before 4:00 am. I am one of the few people that don't work too so I'm sure everyone is exhausted today. I got to sleep until 10:15 so I'm not doing so bad today. It was a really fun night; I just really enjoy hanging out with my kids and their friends and to top it off I had my good friends there too. It helps that my best friends are the mothers of Kev's best friends :)
Monday, July 02, 2007
Love
I went to bed last night very angry and frustrated. Yet another evening with the stepmom and all her complaining and poisonous, negative energy; feeling the need to have a conversation with my dad and vent!
This morning I woke up, and during my meditation time I spent time saying the prayers from "The Four Agreements", and suddenly the anger and frustration vanished and in it's place was a sadness and a need to pray that God would send her peace and heal her from whatever hurt that she is feeling and spreading all around her. Just the reminder that I see myself in all people and that we are all connected and when I send her frustration and anger, I am only giving it to myself and feeding myself with that poison.
These are the two prayers from The Four Agreements which, if you haven't read you must. I apologize that they are so long but they will fill your day with peace. When we love ourselves and fill ourselves with peace and love that is what we have to give away to others.
Prayer for Love:
We are going to share a beautiful dream together- a dream that you will love to have all of the time. In this dream you are in the middle of a beautiful, warm sunny day. You hear the birds, the wind, and a little river. You walk toward the river. At the edge of the river is an old man in meditation, and you see that out of his head comes a beautiful light of different colors. You try not to bother him, but he notices your presence and opens his eyes. He has the kind of eyes that are full of love and a big smile. You ask him how he is able to radiate all that beautiful light. You ask him if he can teach you to do what he is doing., He replies that many, many, years ago he asked the same question of his teacher.
The old man begins to tell you his story: "My teacher opened his chest and took out his heart, and he took a beautiful flame from his heart. Then he opened my chest, opened my heart, and he put that little flame inside it. He put my heart back in my chest, and as soon as my heart was inside of me, I felt intense love, because the flame he put in my heart was his own love.
"That flame grew in my heart and became a big, big fire- a fire that doesn't burn, but purifies everything that it touches. And that fire touched each one of the cells of my body, and the cells of my body loved me back. I became one with my body, but my love grew even more. That fire touched every emotion of my mind, and all the emotions transformed into a strong and intense love. And I loved myself, completely and unconditionally.
"But the fire kept burning and I had the need to share my love. I decided to put a little piece of my love in every tree, and the trees loved me back, and I became one with the trees, but my love did not stop, it grew more. I put a piece of love in every flower, in the grass, in the earth and they loved me back, and we became one. And my love grew more and more to love every animal in the world. They responded to my love and loved me back, and we became one. But my love kept growing and growing.
"I put a piece of my love in every crystal, in every stone in the ground, in the dirt, in the metals, and they loved me back, and I became one with the earth. And then I decided to put my love in the water, in the oceans, in the rivers, in the rain, in the snow. And they loved me back and we became one. And still my love grew more and more. I decided to give my love to the air, to the wind. I felt a strong communion with the earth, with the wind, with the oceans, with nature, and my love grew and grew.
"I turned my head to the sky, to the sun, to the stars, and put a little piece of my love in every star, in the moon, in the sun, and they loved me back. And I became one with the moon and the sun and the stars, and my love kept growing and growing. And I put a little piece of my love in every human, and I became one with the whole of humanity. Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am a part of everything, because I love."
And then the old man opens his own chest, takes out his heart with that beautiful flame inside, and he puts that flame in your heart. And now that love is growing inside of you. Now you are one with the wind, with the water, with the stars, with all of nature, with all animals, and with all humans. You feel the heat and the light emanating from the flame in your heart. Out of your head shines a beautiful light of diffferent colors. You are radiant with the glow of love and you pray:
Thank you, Creator of the Universe, for the gift of life you have given me. Thank you for giving me everything that I have ever truly needed. Thank you for the opportunity to experience this beautiful body and this wonderful mind. Thank you for living inside me with all your love, with your pure and boundless spirit, with your warm and radiant light.
Thank you for using my words, for using my eyes, for using my heart to share your love wherever I go. I love you just the way you are, and because I am your creation, I love myself just the way I am. Help me to keep the love and the peace in my heart and to make that love a new way of life, that I may live in the love the rest of my life. Amen.
Prayer for Freedom:
Today, Creator of the Universe, we ask that you come to us and share with us a strong communion of love. We know that your real name is Love, that to have a communion with you means to share the same vibration, the same frequency that you are, because you are the only thing that exists in the universe.
Today, help us to be like you are, to love life, to be life, to be love. Help us to love the way you love, with no conditions, no expectations, no obligations, without any judgment. because when we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty and we need to be punished.
Help us to love everything you create unconditionally, especially other human beings, especially those who live around us- all our relatives and people whom we try so hard to love. Because when we reject them, we reject ourselves, and when we reject ourselves, we reject You.
Help us to love others just the way they are with no conditions. Help us to accept them the way they are, without judgment, because if we judge them, we find them guilty, we blame them, and we have the need to punish them.
Today, clean our hearts of any emotional poison that we have, free our minds from any judgment so that we can live in complete peace and complete love.
Today is a very special day. Today we open our hearts to love again so that we can tell each other "I love you," without any fear, and really mean it. Today, we offer ourselves to you. Come to us, use our voices, use our eyes, use our hands, and use our hearts to share ourselves in a communion of love with everyone. Today, Creator, help us to be just like you are. Thank you for everything that we recieve this day, especially for the freedom to be who we really are. Amen.
This morning I woke up, and during my meditation time I spent time saying the prayers from "The Four Agreements", and suddenly the anger and frustration vanished and in it's place was a sadness and a need to pray that God would send her peace and heal her from whatever hurt that she is feeling and spreading all around her. Just the reminder that I see myself in all people and that we are all connected and when I send her frustration and anger, I am only giving it to myself and feeding myself with that poison.
These are the two prayers from The Four Agreements which, if you haven't read you must. I apologize that they are so long but they will fill your day with peace. When we love ourselves and fill ourselves with peace and love that is what we have to give away to others.
Prayer for Love:
We are going to share a beautiful dream together- a dream that you will love to have all of the time. In this dream you are in the middle of a beautiful, warm sunny day. You hear the birds, the wind, and a little river. You walk toward the river. At the edge of the river is an old man in meditation, and you see that out of his head comes a beautiful light of different colors. You try not to bother him, but he notices your presence and opens his eyes. He has the kind of eyes that are full of love and a big smile. You ask him how he is able to radiate all that beautiful light. You ask him if he can teach you to do what he is doing., He replies that many, many, years ago he asked the same question of his teacher.
The old man begins to tell you his story: "My teacher opened his chest and took out his heart, and he took a beautiful flame from his heart. Then he opened my chest, opened my heart, and he put that little flame inside it. He put my heart back in my chest, and as soon as my heart was inside of me, I felt intense love, because the flame he put in my heart was his own love.
"That flame grew in my heart and became a big, big fire- a fire that doesn't burn, but purifies everything that it touches. And that fire touched each one of the cells of my body, and the cells of my body loved me back. I became one with my body, but my love grew even more. That fire touched every emotion of my mind, and all the emotions transformed into a strong and intense love. And I loved myself, completely and unconditionally.
"But the fire kept burning and I had the need to share my love. I decided to put a little piece of my love in every tree, and the trees loved me back, and I became one with the trees, but my love did not stop, it grew more. I put a piece of love in every flower, in the grass, in the earth and they loved me back, and we became one. And my love grew more and more to love every animal in the world. They responded to my love and loved me back, and we became one. But my love kept growing and growing.
"I put a piece of my love in every crystal, in every stone in the ground, in the dirt, in the metals, and they loved me back, and I became one with the earth. And then I decided to put my love in the water, in the oceans, in the rivers, in the rain, in the snow. And they loved me back and we became one. And still my love grew more and more. I decided to give my love to the air, to the wind. I felt a strong communion with the earth, with the wind, with the oceans, with nature, and my love grew and grew.
"I turned my head to the sky, to the sun, to the stars, and put a little piece of my love in every star, in the moon, in the sun, and they loved me back. And I became one with the moon and the sun and the stars, and my love kept growing and growing. And I put a little piece of my love in every human, and I became one with the whole of humanity. Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am a part of everything, because I love."
And then the old man opens his own chest, takes out his heart with that beautiful flame inside, and he puts that flame in your heart. And now that love is growing inside of you. Now you are one with the wind, with the water, with the stars, with all of nature, with all animals, and with all humans. You feel the heat and the light emanating from the flame in your heart. Out of your head shines a beautiful light of diffferent colors. You are radiant with the glow of love and you pray:
Thank you, Creator of the Universe, for the gift of life you have given me. Thank you for giving me everything that I have ever truly needed. Thank you for the opportunity to experience this beautiful body and this wonderful mind. Thank you for living inside me with all your love, with your pure and boundless spirit, with your warm and radiant light.
Thank you for using my words, for using my eyes, for using my heart to share your love wherever I go. I love you just the way you are, and because I am your creation, I love myself just the way I am. Help me to keep the love and the peace in my heart and to make that love a new way of life, that I may live in the love the rest of my life. Amen.
Prayer for Freedom:
Today, Creator of the Universe, we ask that you come to us and share with us a strong communion of love. We know that your real name is Love, that to have a communion with you means to share the same vibration, the same frequency that you are, because you are the only thing that exists in the universe.
Today, help us to be like you are, to love life, to be life, to be love. Help us to love the way you love, with no conditions, no expectations, no obligations, without any judgment. because when we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty and we need to be punished.
Help us to love everything you create unconditionally, especially other human beings, especially those who live around us- all our relatives and people whom we try so hard to love. Because when we reject them, we reject ourselves, and when we reject ourselves, we reject You.
Help us to love others just the way they are with no conditions. Help us to accept them the way they are, without judgment, because if we judge them, we find them guilty, we blame them, and we have the need to punish them.
Today, clean our hearts of any emotional poison that we have, free our minds from any judgment so that we can live in complete peace and complete love.
Today is a very special day. Today we open our hearts to love again so that we can tell each other "I love you," without any fear, and really mean it. Today, we offer ourselves to you. Come to us, use our voices, use our eyes, use our hands, and use our hearts to share ourselves in a communion of love with everyone. Today, Creator, help us to be just like you are. Thank you for everything that we recieve this day, especially for the freedom to be who we really are. Amen.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Another Wonderful Week
Another incredibly wonderful week under my belt. It just seems that my life has found its groove. I have this inward peace that is pretty hard to push off kilter. Even on the seemingly "bad" days life is just good.
We have had quite a few sunny, warm days. The kids and I have been spending quite a bit of time at the lake. We have even dreamed about living on the lake but not sure if we want to create the chaos that it takes to move again. Our housing market here is pretty flat at the moment so it wouldn't be a smart move to sell our house anyway. Renting it out is always a possibility though.
Thursday we went to music at the park; trying to make a habit of it for the summer. This week was bluegrass. Quite often the music that is being played is not really my kind of music but it is something about the atmosphere of being at the park, with people of all different walks of life sitting there enjoying something together, that does something for my soul. My good friends Tanya and Debbie came too (picture at the top) which makes it even more enjoyable.
Right before we went to the park I got this new tattoo and Kev got his eyebrow pierced. I'm personally not into the facial piercings, it really grosses me out, but it's his body and he thinks they look really nice so............ I suppose some people think tattoos are a turnoff also and I happen to think they are a beautiful work of art so I guess to each his own. What made it even more fun is that all the kids and Martin were there along with two of Kev's friend and one of their mom's. It almost made me feel like a monkey in the zoo but it created some wonderfully, good energy!
On Friday Calista and I went to Friday Fling with Tanya and Sarah. Friday Fling is kind of like a Saturday Market but much smaller; music and local craft booths, food, etc. We started the day with soup from our favorite coffee shop, Vagabond Blues, and ended the day with a trip to a new thrift store in downtown Palmer. This new thrift store is made up of all very trendy, brand name clothes. I bought a jacket that is just rocking my world!! I will post pictures of that later, as I have to fix a little rip on it first.
Later in the evening we went over to Debbie and Ryan's for "spinach crap". Kev hangs out at the Murphy's every Monday, during Heroes season, and Debbie started a tradition of making this spinach ravioli stuff that the kids have dubbed "spinach crap". It's their favorite dish and I never make it right to their standards. I guess Debbie has a special touch when she makes it :) After we ate our "spinach crap" we played a game of Japanese Rummy. That was the first time we played, very fun! We are very thankful to be blessed with such wonderful friends!
I also made an official decision this week to go ahead with the yoga teachers certification class so that I can teach yoga. She decided to add a new class in October so it will be happening a lot sooner than I thought. On the application one of the things she asks us to do is right a story about ourselves and be introspective about it. It's funny that it makes me so anxious because I blog all the time and am fairly introspective about things but something about "having" to do it makes me feel like I am back in elementary school. So all week I have been wringing my hands over what this story might be. I think I have an idea, just funny that it is requiring so much of my energy. This class will give me the 200 hr certification and then in June of next year I will continue on and get my 500 hr certification, which allows me to teach anywhere, where as the 20o hr has some limitations.
Martin's ENTIRE family will be coming to visit in the next month which will add a little more excitement. One sister and niece will be here this week so we look forward to a good time! There will be one week in August that they will all overlap and be here at the same time to celebrate Merle and Lois's 50th wedding anniversary. He has four sisters, three brother-in-laws and seven nieces and nephews so it will be a busy, fun time that we are all looking forward to.
I'm sorry this post is so squooshed together. Blogger is on the blitz today and won't let me make spaces between the paragraphs.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Beautiful Week
This is how my morning started. I don't think it could have started better! I took the dogs out this morning, looked down and there it was; a four leaf clover. Maybe this day will bring me some luck! This has been a nice, relaxing week. We've had sunshiny, 80 degree weather all week long and the kids and I have spent every day at the lake. We've got these nice Alaskan tans going. Today is gray and cloudy but I don't mind after such a beautiful week.
I'm just finishing week 7 (out of 9) of my yoga challenge. I think I have decided to get my teacher certification in the spring, to teach yoga. It has changed my life in so many ways and I would like to share that with others. Meanwhile, I will spend this year in my practice and take it one step further. Wed. night was so nice outside that we walked down to the park for our yoga class and then on Thurs. morning it was only the teacher, another teacher from the studio and me at class so we did a completely silent class, meaning there was absolutely no cues given during class. It was awesome!! It felt like my own yoga practice, rather than being in a class.
So today, since it is so cloudy, I'm going to spend the day getting ready for our garage sale tomorrow. Once again, I am purging, trying to get down to just what we need and enjoy. If it is raining tomorrow that is going to screw us up but I will just reschedule for next weekend.
Monday, June 18, 2007
8 things about me
Okay, my sister, Ren, tagged me for 8 things about me. I'm going to go ahead and post 8 things about me but I'm not going to tag anyone. We have a lot of blog friends in common and so I'm sure some of them will be tagged multiple times so I will spare everyone. So eight things about me:
1) I LOVE heat!!!! Most people find that hard to believe, as I do live in Alaska. I know it's crazy. I live here for the people and the community, not the weather. My escape is the 2 hours that I spend every day doing Bikraam yoga, in a room heated to 110 degrees, sometimes a little warmer. And in the winter I just crank that woodstove!! I always smell like woodsmoke but I am warm!
2) I'm a vegetarian. I lean towards being vegan but just can't give up the cheese! I LOVE cheese. I don't do milk or eggs but I love cheese. My oldest son went vegetarian about 5 or 6 years ago and my two youngest went vegetarian several months ago. Now the only one left is my husband. He prefers the vegetarian diet but still likes his steak once in a while. It's fun to have kids that prefer hummus and tofu over anything else!
3) I'm a huge dreamer!! I love to dream and I do it out loud. I learned a while back that if you talk about your dreams like they are fact that they tend to manifest much easier. Some people think I'm a big talker because 70% of the dreams never do manifest but it's worth the 30% that do. I never want to quit thinking big! Calista asked me the other day if I'm just one of those people that like change and yes, I do!! I love adventures, new things, new experiences. I'm learning to take myself out of my comfort zone and into situations that help me grow as a person.
4) I can't hurt a fly, literally! I save spiders for goodness sake! I feel that all living beings have a right to be here and they all have their purpose. Oh, I do kill mosquitoes, have a hard time with those little buggers. Calista cried when she accidentally hurt a firefly and I love that I've raised kids with a sensitivity towards life. All living things are connected. I love that the American Natives would thank those animals, that they killed for food, for sustaining them through their sacrifice and that the ground they killed them on was considered sacred ground. I don't think Americans give much thought to where their food even comes from. I'm not against those that eat meat or kill animals for their meat but I have a hard time with people that have no regards for living beings and don't do it in a humane way. I REALLY have a hard time with people that hunt for sport, SICK!!
5) I love to clog!! Some people don't know what clogging is but it is similar to tapping, in that you make a sound with your shoes but the shoes are different (clogging shoes have "bells", two pieces of metal that tap together), and the steps are completely different too. I haven't been able to clog since last fall because of money and the fact that I have been more focused on my yoga practice but plan on getting more clogging in here soon. It's so much fun!
6) I LOVE being a mom!! I mean, I REALLY LOVE being a mom!! And I enjoy my teenage son so much that it makes me sad to think in four years he could leave the nest if he chooses. I have frustrating days but I love being home and being surrounded by my kids; noise, chaos and all!!
7) I have one tattoo and have plans for many more. I think they are beautiful, or should I say some are beautiful as I have seen lots that I think are morbid and not so beautiful. In the next few months I have plans for an ankle band and a rose on my ankle in memory of my mom, with my mom's signature at the bottom.
8) My friends call me Dharma, self-explanatory for those of you who really know me. I guess I'm a little eccentric by most people's definitions. In the unschooling world I'm really not so different. But being called Dharma is definitely a compliment!
1) I LOVE heat!!!! Most people find that hard to believe, as I do live in Alaska. I know it's crazy. I live here for the people and the community, not the weather. My escape is the 2 hours that I spend every day doing Bikraam yoga, in a room heated to 110 degrees, sometimes a little warmer. And in the winter I just crank that woodstove!! I always smell like woodsmoke but I am warm!
2) I'm a vegetarian. I lean towards being vegan but just can't give up the cheese! I LOVE cheese. I don't do milk or eggs but I love cheese. My oldest son went vegetarian about 5 or 6 years ago and my two youngest went vegetarian several months ago. Now the only one left is my husband. He prefers the vegetarian diet but still likes his steak once in a while. It's fun to have kids that prefer hummus and tofu over anything else!
3) I'm a huge dreamer!! I love to dream and I do it out loud. I learned a while back that if you talk about your dreams like they are fact that they tend to manifest much easier. Some people think I'm a big talker because 70% of the dreams never do manifest but it's worth the 30% that do. I never want to quit thinking big! Calista asked me the other day if I'm just one of those people that like change and yes, I do!! I love adventures, new things, new experiences. I'm learning to take myself out of my comfort zone and into situations that help me grow as a person.
4) I can't hurt a fly, literally! I save spiders for goodness sake! I feel that all living beings have a right to be here and they all have their purpose. Oh, I do kill mosquitoes, have a hard time with those little buggers. Calista cried when she accidentally hurt a firefly and I love that I've raised kids with a sensitivity towards life. All living things are connected. I love that the American Natives would thank those animals, that they killed for food, for sustaining them through their sacrifice and that the ground they killed them on was considered sacred ground. I don't think Americans give much thought to where their food even comes from. I'm not against those that eat meat or kill animals for their meat but I have a hard time with people that have no regards for living beings and don't do it in a humane way. I REALLY have a hard time with people that hunt for sport, SICK!!
5) I love to clog!! Some people don't know what clogging is but it is similar to tapping, in that you make a sound with your shoes but the shoes are different (clogging shoes have "bells", two pieces of metal that tap together), and the steps are completely different too. I haven't been able to clog since last fall because of money and the fact that I have been more focused on my yoga practice but plan on getting more clogging in here soon. It's so much fun!
6) I LOVE being a mom!! I mean, I REALLY LOVE being a mom!! And I enjoy my teenage son so much that it makes me sad to think in four years he could leave the nest if he chooses. I have frustrating days but I love being home and being surrounded by my kids; noise, chaos and all!!
7) I have one tattoo and have plans for many more. I think they are beautiful, or should I say some are beautiful as I have seen lots that I think are morbid and not so beautiful. In the next few months I have plans for an ankle band and a rose on my ankle in memory of my mom, with my mom's signature at the bottom.
8) My friends call me Dharma, self-explanatory for those of you who really know me. I guess I'm a little eccentric by most people's definitions. In the unschooling world I'm really not so different. But being called Dharma is definitely a compliment!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Beautiful
I got this picture from a magazine ad for Dove. I just love this picture because this is an amazingly beautiful woman but she is not the picture of how our society defines beauty. The ad says:
wrinkled?
wonderful?
When did beauty become limited by age? It's time to think, talk and learn how to make beauty real again.
I love it!! At what point did society decide that the stretched plastic, 'I want to look young but I really don't' look is beautiful? Why are people always trying to attain this "perfection" of beauty, this eternal youth kind of beauty? Why do we worship youth so much? I think this woman is so beautiful, so much more beautiful than fake, perky boobs and stretched faces.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
What a night!!
Wow, what a night!!
Today was a great day; I took my 42nd yoga class!! Yay! I'm three weeks from finishing my challenge; 5 classes a week for 9 weeks. It was one of my best classes yet too. There was just some great energy and I had a neck injury last week that let loose in the middle of class and gave me some incredible relief from the pain I've had all week. The kids and I went to the lake for a little while and then came home to pack a picnic dinner for music in the park.
So we had this wonderful dinner, quite fancy for a cooler dinner and we were sitting enjoying the music with some friends. The teens started walking towards the skate park on the bike path because Hope saw some friends of hers over there. So these kids come over to talk to Hope and they turn to Kev and say, "Dude, fight me." Kev is like um, don't think so. The kids says, "Come on I need to get some energy out." Before you know it there is a big group of kids egging it on to get Kev to fight this kid. Kev is walking quickly back towards me to avoid the situation getting any worse when one kids shoves him and almost makes him do a face plant and then the other kids comes in front of him and punches him right in the face.
He gets back to us with a big fat lip and a bloody nose and I'm like 'what the heck'. I go get the park ranger and let him know that I want to press charges so he calls the Wasilla Police to report to the park. As we are waiting for the cop we witness a mother assaulting her teenage daughter and it was getting fairly violent; the child screaming and the mother pulling her hair. Unbelievable!! The ranger doesn't feel like he can do much because he is only a ranger so I tell him that if he doesn't do anything that I will. Just as he goes to try and diffuse the situation the trooper pulls up and I tell him to deal with this poor teenage girl and her mom first. The trooper says, "I think I need to just let her be a mom." I was like, "Excuse me? That doesn't work for me!" He finally agrees to go talk to them and once he deals with that we go take care of these kids at the skate park. A few of the kids came clean and their story matched Kev's, in that he had nothing to do with the fight and the kids were just being jerks. They got suspended from the park but big deal. Apparently, even if you press charges all they get is suspension and you've wasted a bunch of energy on it.
Kev was a little shaken up and he has a big whoppin headache but is otherwise okay. He is floored by the immaturity of kids that are his age. The sad thing is they don't have parents that give a crap about them.
I missed most of the music in the park but when someone messes with my kids, watch out because here comes momma bear!! I was pretty fired up!! Maybe next week will be a little more mellow.
Today was a great day; I took my 42nd yoga class!! Yay! I'm three weeks from finishing my challenge; 5 classes a week for 9 weeks. It was one of my best classes yet too. There was just some great energy and I had a neck injury last week that let loose in the middle of class and gave me some incredible relief from the pain I've had all week. The kids and I went to the lake for a little while and then came home to pack a picnic dinner for music in the park.
So we had this wonderful dinner, quite fancy for a cooler dinner and we were sitting enjoying the music with some friends. The teens started walking towards the skate park on the bike path because Hope saw some friends of hers over there. So these kids come over to talk to Hope and they turn to Kev and say, "Dude, fight me." Kev is like um, don't think so. The kids says, "Come on I need to get some energy out." Before you know it there is a big group of kids egging it on to get Kev to fight this kid. Kev is walking quickly back towards me to avoid the situation getting any worse when one kids shoves him and almost makes him do a face plant and then the other kids comes in front of him and punches him right in the face.
He gets back to us with a big fat lip and a bloody nose and I'm like 'what the heck'. I go get the park ranger and let him know that I want to press charges so he calls the Wasilla Police to report to the park. As we are waiting for the cop we witness a mother assaulting her teenage daughter and it was getting fairly violent; the child screaming and the mother pulling her hair. Unbelievable!! The ranger doesn't feel like he can do much because he is only a ranger so I tell him that if he doesn't do anything that I will. Just as he goes to try and diffuse the situation the trooper pulls up and I tell him to deal with this poor teenage girl and her mom first. The trooper says, "I think I need to just let her be a mom." I was like, "Excuse me? That doesn't work for me!" He finally agrees to go talk to them and once he deals with that we go take care of these kids at the skate park. A few of the kids came clean and their story matched Kev's, in that he had nothing to do with the fight and the kids were just being jerks. They got suspended from the park but big deal. Apparently, even if you press charges all they get is suspension and you've wasted a bunch of energy on it.
Kev was a little shaken up and he has a big whoppin headache but is otherwise okay. He is floored by the immaturity of kids that are his age. The sad thing is they don't have parents that give a crap about them.
I missed most of the music in the park but when someone messes with my kids, watch out because here comes momma bear!! I was pretty fired up!! Maybe next week will be a little more mellow.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Busy Week
It's been a busy, busy week! I haven't hardly had time to get on and check my e-mails, much less to blog.
Summer decided to finally make her entrance, although by most peoples standards it could hardly be called summer. I think we did hit 70 degrees this week though, barely. Today looks like a possible over 70 degree day.
Last Saturday we spent a little time at the lake with Robin, Richard and Rylee. Richard recently aquired a boat so he took all the kids out for a ride. Still a little too chilly for me so I sat on the beach and got a little sun :) Yesterday we picked up some puppies from the rescue and delivered them to Petco, in Anchorage, for the adoption clinic. Then we went to the rennaissance fair for a few hours. The day started cloudy so I was a little worried about being cold but just as we got there the sun came out and it warmed up. Plus I had my poncho that Kelli Traaseth so kindly made for me so I was nice and cozy.
The fair was interesting. I had never been to a rennaissance fair before. I have to admit that it was a little out of my element. I don't quite know what to do with everyone that is in character. It was a fun, new experience though; good to get out of our comfort zones every once in a while. Tristan LOVED it and could have camped out there all weekend. He just thought it was so cool! He has always been a bit taken with medeival things so I wasn't actually surprised that he enjoyed it so much.
After the fair we went to dinner. I had Kev's friends, Hope and Kevin with me and Hope's parents, along with my husband, sister, and niece met us in town for dinner. They actually made it to about an hour of the fair and then we all headed over to Twin Dragon's, mongolion barbeque, for dinner. After dinner the teens got dropped off at a concert that they have been waiting to go to, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, and the rest of us went and saw a movie. We didn't all agree on what we wanted to see so Robin and I took the girls to Surf's Up and Martin, Debbie, Ryan and Tristan went and saw something else, can't remember the name of the movie right now. We picked the teens up around 11:30 and headed back home. What a day!
This morning I woke up to sunshine, yay!! We have a couple of things to do to the motorhome today and it will go up on the lot this afternoon. We are praying that we haven't missed the window to be able to sell it. People in Alaska generally purchase those kinds of things in April and May and it is much harder to sell motorhomes after May. We will hope for the best. I wish my house was as clean as the motorhome, as we wiped down every single surface, nook and cranny in it. Hopefully once we are done with that we can spend some time enjoying the sun. I wanted to go to Talkeetna today but it's not looking too promising.
Summer decided to finally make her entrance, although by most peoples standards it could hardly be called summer. I think we did hit 70 degrees this week though, barely. Today looks like a possible over 70 degree day.
Last Saturday we spent a little time at the lake with Robin, Richard and Rylee. Richard recently aquired a boat so he took all the kids out for a ride. Still a little too chilly for me so I sat on the beach and got a little sun :) Yesterday we picked up some puppies from the rescue and delivered them to Petco, in Anchorage, for the adoption clinic. Then we went to the rennaissance fair for a few hours. The day started cloudy so I was a little worried about being cold but just as we got there the sun came out and it warmed up. Plus I had my poncho that Kelli Traaseth so kindly made for me so I was nice and cozy.
The fair was interesting. I had never been to a rennaissance fair before. I have to admit that it was a little out of my element. I don't quite know what to do with everyone that is in character. It was a fun, new experience though; good to get out of our comfort zones every once in a while. Tristan LOVED it and could have camped out there all weekend. He just thought it was so cool! He has always been a bit taken with medeival things so I wasn't actually surprised that he enjoyed it so much.
After the fair we went to dinner. I had Kev's friends, Hope and Kevin with me and Hope's parents, along with my husband, sister, and niece met us in town for dinner. They actually made it to about an hour of the fair and then we all headed over to Twin Dragon's, mongolion barbeque, for dinner. After dinner the teens got dropped off at a concert that they have been waiting to go to, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, and the rest of us went and saw a movie. We didn't all agree on what we wanted to see so Robin and I took the girls to Surf's Up and Martin, Debbie, Ryan and Tristan went and saw something else, can't remember the name of the movie right now. We picked the teens up around 11:30 and headed back home. What a day!
This morning I woke up to sunshine, yay!! We have a couple of things to do to the motorhome today and it will go up on the lot this afternoon. We are praying that we haven't missed the window to be able to sell it. People in Alaska generally purchase those kinds of things in April and May and it is much harder to sell motorhomes after May. We will hope for the best. I wish my house was as clean as the motorhome, as we wiped down every single surface, nook and cranny in it. Hopefully once we are done with that we can spend some time enjoying the sun. I wanted to go to Talkeetna today but it's not looking too promising.
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