Tuesday, July 17, 2007


I've been so busy enjoying our very short summer that I just haven't had the time to blog like I do in the winter. I've also been a little stymied, due to my complete focus on some research that I have been a little caught up in.

I was raised in a very strict, fundamental, cult-like Christian sect that taught us to never question but to just have 'faith'. I left that church five years ago and became a member of another Christian church that, unlike the church I grew up in was not black and white in their thinking, still taught to "just have faith", to not question.

So many questions rose up in me all through my life, not only about the church I grew up in but questions about Jesus and Christianity in general. My focus five years ago was to challenge the history and validity of this sect I grew up in. I satisfied those questions quite quickly and I didn't have to look very far. But those nagging questions about Christianity continued to pop up in my mind, so many things that just don't make sense to me, yet I continued to "believe" because that is what I was taught to do. Besides the fact that so many things in the Bible don't make sense and don't add up, the Bible was telling me things that just didn't line up with what I was actually experiencing with God. I just couldn't ignore it any longer.

I have spent the last several months researching and discovering things that make me completely in awe of how ignorant man can actually be. How much we take for truth without every questioning it. And it isn't just religion, it's everything; our government and all of it's institutions, the media, the masses. It's really quite pathetic and I'm quite guilty.

My journey through unschooling has slowly taught me to question everything and to not mindlessly think in a certain way and do things just because "somebody said" or some book printed it or the government thought it was good and healthy. The more questions I ask, regarding the Bible and Christianity, the more answers I receive and the more I move away from it. And I know there is validity to the answers I am receiving because I have an inner peace that I have not felt before. I am completely content with where I am and where I am going and that means something to me.

There is a Japanese word that a friend has on her license plate- Kaizen. The Japanese definition is "change for the better", the English translation is "continuous improvement". There will always be room for change and growth, always more to learn and discover. I never want to think that I have all the answers or that I have it figured out so much that I will never change my opinion on things. This world is so full of wonder and things we will never have the answers for and I will continue to question, research, and discover.


Anonymous said...

May I recommend the movie www.zeitgeist.com ?
I am a fellow unschooler who was previously Christian and between the Conversations With God book series, and this movie, I now feel confident of my understanding of God.
Just an inspired recommendation...

Ren said...

I never thought I'd read these words sis.:)
I have to say, you've come a long way from getting angry when someone questioned anything about your beliefs. Cool.

It's never easy to realize one has been lied to their entire lives, even by well-intentioned people. But I think believing a lie is the worse thing ever. So keep on questioning!!

Because real 'truth' doesn't come from anywhere but within.

kelli said...

I so know what you are saying. I'm sure your yoga is affecting the way you're thinking and feeling too. I know it does for me.

Amazing beautiful post Heidi~

Snavleys said...

Thank you anon! I did watch zeitgeist and that definitely propelled me forward from where I was at. And yes, Kelli, yoga definitely causes you to reach deep within yourself - it's been wonderful that way!

Laura said...

Wow, excellent post. I'm inspired when i read about others' journeys and inner work. You're right that unschooling urges us to examine more than just how we educate our children, and eventually, even the big'uns like religion are fair game. I knew unschooling would set me apart from the mainstream, but I never realized how far down the rabbit hole it would take us. The air is easier to breathe down here, though, isn't it? :)