A picture taken of me a few years ago, in between bouts of tanning.

It's another one of those weeks where I am digging deep - trying to get down to my true AUTHENTIC SELF and let it shine through. Not the part of me that I let everyone else see but the REAL me!

This week it has to do with my need to tan all the time. Seems like such a silly thing to spend much time thinking about right? For me it's not about how unhealthy it is or even about how it ages you because I really like being tan and I'm willing for whatever the consequence of that action brings. No, it's about being authentic. It's about the stress of maintaining something that I'm not.

Ironically, I got my Yoga Journal in the mail last night and begin flipping through the pages and one of the first articles in the magazine this month is about a woman struggling with a similar issue- going gray. The last two paragraphs of the article express my same feelings over this tanning issue:

"I like the time and money I save not going to the salon every three weeks. I like the energy I save not thinking about my hair. I think about yogic notions of satya (truthfulness) and santosha (contentment) and realize that I still have some letting got to do: of my resentment that society is ageist, that older men are powerful while older women are invisible.

Going gray was letting go of a way of thinking that had become a burden. Yoga is about letting go of whatever prevents us from being our most authentic self. Just like the experience of yoga, feeling good about going gray has been a loosening of the obstacles to healthy, flowing energy. And besides, how long could I pretend to be someone different from who I am, while teaching others to feel comfortable with themselves."

So here I am, in the letting go process. Celebrating me- pale and beautiful. Accepting it. Embracing it. And when every last remnant of my tan is gone I'm going to do a photo session capturing all the parts of my body that I love so when I feel that discontentment rise to the surface I will look at those pictures and rejoice- for this amazing body and all the hard work it does for me.

Summertime FUN!!!

We've been having so much fun this summer. We've had awesome weather that has allowed us to do lots outdoors. These are pictures documenting some of the fun we've been having.

Had lunch with my good friend, Leslie, and her son, Garrett, who were in town for a few short hours, from Fairbanks.

Jared and Kev swimming at Bodgett Lake. We met a rockin' unschooling family that live on the lake and have had us over a couple of times to enjoy!

The girls waiting for their turn to launch off the rope swing into the lake.

Calista is flying!

Kev let go of the rope too soon and landed in the rocks. Lani fixed him up with some good Spidey and Batman band-aids. She was afraid it might give his identity away;)

We went to the Moose Dropping Festival in Talkeetna and spent some time hanging out by the river. Martin and Calista are skipping rocks.

Calista searches for some good skipping rocks.

Martin creates some obos.

Some colorful people hanging down by the river. I just thought it was a cool picture.

Enjoying my daughter's friendship.

Calista and I doing tree pose on a log. I love doing yoga out in nature.

Calista doing tree pose. She was here for quite a while. She has awesome focus!

More yoga!

And more yoga!

We leave our mark for others to enjoy:)

My sister, Robin, and her husband, Richard.

Rylee and Calista having fun when the wake from the boats hit them.

Richard and Rex launched their boats on Cottonwood Lake and spent the day pulling us on tubes. It was a blast!! This is Rex's boat that he built in two months. Very talented guy!

Calista and I take our turn:)

Richard pulling Calista and I.

Rylee and Calista.

Robin and I. They tried really hard to throw us, without success I might add.

Martin and Kev.

See! Roxie IS a lap dog!

Rylee, Kev, and Jared after hours of tubing.

Jared enjoying a first for him. He had a blast!! We are trying to give him a good time during his summer with us:)

Jared and Kev take one last run before we wrap up the day. What a GRAND time we had!!! Thank you Rex and Richard!!!

Summer

It's been a BEAUTIFUL summer! We've had so many sunny days, I just haven't been on the computer too much to have the time to blog.

Martin cleared our entire back yard, about 1/2 an acre total. He almost has my greenhouse completed too! I'm so excited! I will probably just do some tomatoes and lettuce since we are so late into the season. I'm just happy to be moving in the right direction. We have our garden plot ready for next year and it's pretty good size. We are preparing to flatten the front yard (there is a big berm in the middle of the circular drive) and get rid of the circular driveway so that the front is all lawn. Calista just wants a place to run in the sprinkler:) The rest of the backyard will have to wait for next year. Martin has plans back there:) He's putting in a T-box and putting green, a sand area for a fire pit, hammocks (I am going to try and put the hammocks in next week), and spool tables, and the rest will be lawn. A riding lawn mower is definitely in our future!

This last weekend Jared and Kev went up to Girdwood for the Forest Fair and camped out for the weekend. They went up there not really knowing where they were going to camp and I expected them to be back home that night. Kev called me very excited when they got there because a friend of a friend lives up there and invited them to camp out at his house. He has a rooftop deck that they pitched their tents on. We went up on Saturday, just for the day, and hung out. All of the following pictures are from the Forest Fair. Girdwood is about 70 miles south of us. It's a beautiful drive along the inlet and you can often see the Beluga Whales breeching, usually more in August and September.

We are enjoying Jared's company this summer! Thank you Ren for lending him to us:) I know his family is starting to really miss him and it makes me feel bad but I think he is having a really good time and we are trying to do as much as possible before he decides to go home. I want to take him white water rafting before the summer is up and I really hope we can fit it into the budget.

One of the music stages.

The kids getting ready to walk to the fair from their camping spot.


The kids pitch their tents on the rooftop deck of a friend of a friend:)

Pitching their tents.

Painting a spool table. We are going to try and get a hold of a few for our backyard.

The teens: Kev, Hope, Kevin, Stacy, and Tom. Not sure where Jared was when I took this picture. Must have been getting some food or something.

Hula Hooping.

Rylee (my niece,on right) and her friend Joslyn (sp?). It was Rylee's 8th birthday!

My friend, Debbie, and I.