A New Year

The start of a new year. The day when so many people make New Year's Resolutions. I love that this year there seems to be a theme that it's not necessary to make resolutions, that every moment is a new moment and a time to make changes. I'm not a huge fan of resolutions but I do set some intentions every year. And every year I seem to fall short of all those great intentions. I have some intentions and goals for 2012 but I also, more importantly, want to live fully in each moment. I just want to be PRESENT, to JUST BE. To be with whatever arises in each moment and feel and experience it fully. I've lived most of my life feeling as if everything will be right "when......" or "if.......". This year I will strive to accomplish my goals and work through challenges all while being PRESENT and letting go of expectations.

This past five years has been very challenging for me. It started with having to face the fact that my dream of traveling and living in our RV full-time did not line up with the rest of my family's dreams. We've faced financial challenges that we've never experienced-- not for lack of finances but because of choices we've made that, looking back, weren't the best choices for our family. We are beginning a new stage of our parenting journey as our children begin to transition into adulthood. Because of this transition I've had to face myself, outside of my life as a mother, and reflect on where I want my life to be when my children are all grown. I've had to reflect on my marriage quite a bit as well, as it is so easy to settle into this comfortable rhythm that isn't necessarily serving me or my marriage very well. In short, there has been a lot of "discomfort".  Recently someone mentioned that when we are comfortable we aren't growing. I haven't experienced that feeling of being comfortable for quite some time. There has been some kind of burr in my side for a while. As I've been reflecting this week on some of the lessons that have come my way I realize that I'm not really welcoming them with open arms and learning from them. I'm constantly resisting them. 2012 is my year to take all those "lessons" that I've learned and put them to good use. If I don't like something then it's up to me to change that! I can't constantly make the same choices and expect my life to be any different. It's time to embrace some major changes in my life!

I made a big decision (for me) to go to college full-time this year. I'm working on a dietetics degree. I've always been very passionate about health and nutrition and the thought of helping people and getting paid for it is awesome! I've had a lot of ups and downs this semester, along with lots and lots of tears. I've had to really weigh in on this decision and decide whether to go all the way. When I weigh out the pros and cons the decision to get the degree always wins out. That means that I have to take all the challenges that come along with it and ride the waves, and there are a lot of waves. I finished this last semester with a 4.0 and I've been on a natural high ever since the grades came out. It's not the grades that mean so much to me, not really. What is really meaning the most to me is that I faced one of my biggest fears head-on and I won! I broke through old, yucky labels that I've either placed on myself or ones that I took on from childhood --I knocked them on the ground and stomped on them. I feel like some major breakthroughs were accomplished through this last semester of school. And I'm really enjoying school. I enjoy the entire process and I've learned a lot.

This is my starting block for all the other things that I want to accomplish this year. I want to take that same energy, the same determination, the same hard work and put it into all the other things in my life that are important. This is MY year! This is the year of being debt free, of getting health insurance, of re-igniting my marriage, and "re-arranging" my dreams rather than abandoning them. It's time to start living a passionate life again. So here is to 2012-- what is going to be a FABULOUS year full of amazing changes and growth, all while being fully aware and present in each moment.

Blogging Again!!

It's been quite a long time since I've blogged!

Calista has been browsing the blog and asked me to please blog again because she likes reading back on things she's said and things we've done. At this moment there are so many things swirling in my head that I really don't know where to start so, I think I will blog about the gist of what has been going on this last year and start fresh from hereafter.

Last fall I decided to take an Anatomy/Physiology class, mostly to just get a little extra education for my much-rewarding job as a yoga instructor, but also because it's a subject of much interest to me. I started the class with no intention of doing anything more than that but ended up really enjoying it and deciding to go for a degree.

In the last year there have been shifts happening in our house: Kevin deciding to go to school for the last four years and graduating this last spring, and the kids all growing up and heading off on their own adventures. I have been left alone, or with just Calista, more often than not over the last year. I started feeling like it was time to pursue some of my own things. I've always been very passionate about health and wellness and a dietetics/nutrition degree was the natural direction for me. So, in the spring semester I continued with the Anatomy/Physiology class and added a History class as well. I ended the semester with two A's. I know, sounds so strange coming from an unschooling mom's mouth, right? The field happens to be a bit competitive, to get into the upper division classes, so it is paramount for me to keep the grades up. I have to admit, I was pretty proud of myself:P

This year, beginning on the 29th, I will be taking on 12 credits. At this rate it will take me four years to finish but I'm not on any particular race with time so I will just chug along at a comfortable pace. I already have 17 credits but because I have to take 6 credits this year which will not apply to my degree, it will take me a bit longer than the average person.

Tristan and Calista have continued to swim competitively. Tristan was planning on swimming with the high school again this year but the association that controls the high school sports does not allow independent homeschoolers to swim with the high schools. He is unwilling to jump through the hoops and play the system's games so he will not be swimming with Wasilla High this year. He is still swimming club and has some pretty amazing goals that he is going for. He also has an appointment to get his driver's license on Sept. 6. He really wants to learn Spanish, as well, this year, so we are working on that:)

Calista has really gotten into hooping. We found a group that she can hoop with and learn new tricks so that should be something fun for her this winter. She wants to learn Spanish as well, as do me and Martin, so there will probably be lots of broken Spanish being spoken around this house:P

Kevin is still working at the pool, as a lifeguard. He is going to try and find a job on a boat in the Keys and plans on leaving by middle of November. His ultimate dream is to learn how to sail. I'm so excited for him! It's just the best thing ever, as a mom, to see our kids pursue THEIR dreams and not the expectations that society has of them. He has quite the busy social life so I don't see him very often. I guess this is preparation for him not being here at all:( At 20 I was so ready to be a mom and he was a very planned baby, but at 39 I'm not really ready for my kids to be flying the nest. It just creeps up on you!!

We had an exciting summer this year. Kevin graduated from high school on May 20, and on May 21 we loaded up the Flex and headed down the Alaska-Canada Hwy. Our first stop was Life is Good Conference, in Vancouver, WA. Actually, our first stop was at the Cerullo's, where we enjoyed an awesome dinner and very comfortable beds after driving 47 straight hours:) Then, it was LIG. We had a fantastic time!! It was incredible for me to catch up with people that I hadn't seen in years, including my soul sista, Karen Buxcel, and all her awesome kids!! I can't explain what it's like to spend four days with 700 people who mostly all treat kids with dignity and respect, who are gentle parents, and who treat children as equals and with tons of happy, creative, inspirational children. It's just good for my soul!

From Vancouver we headed south, stopping at both my sil's houses, Lizz and Becky, in Colorado, eventually landing in TN, where my sister, Ren, lives. We spent three weeks in Tennessee and had a blast. We got lots of hot weather, lots of days at the river, and just special time with family. My sister divorced her husband of 21 years this last year but she also found another someone special:) Keith and his daughter, Trinity, had moved in the day before I got there so it was a little chaotic but we all did pretty well. It was really special to get to know them and to see my sister launching into this new, wonderful life of hers.

My nephew, Trevor, had called a few weeks before we left Alaska, and asked if there was any way he could come back to Alaska with us. Of course!! was my answer:) He was just needing a change and has always loved Alaska. We had his brother, Jared, for five months two years ago. I've missed so much of their childhood, with us living so far apart, so it's nice to get to know them this way.

From Tennessee we drove up to Davis, IL and spent a couple nights with the Endres. Fun, fun time! And then to Iowa to spend a couple nights with yet another sil (yes, I have a lot of them), who just got married to a farmer and has moved from the Palm Springs area to a farm in Iowa. Talk about culture shock! Luckily, she still gets to live in the California house during the winter months:) It was so much fun to see her new life and get to know what life is like on a farm. Kevin even got to drive the semi-truck, loaded with soybeans! The next stop was Rapid City, SD, to spend two nights with my good friend, Karen Buxcel. YES! I got to see her twice on this trip!! Another fun time!! Spent the day at the lake and just hanging out and chit chatting.

After we left Karen's it was a beeline for home. We did the first 30 hours straight, from Rapid City all the way to Watson Lake, Canada. We spent the night in Watson Lake and then another 18 hr stretch home. We were gone six weeks in all. As much as it is good to be home, I'm a gypsy and I CRAVE being on the road. I'm choosing to be content, right where I'm at, but I will not give up the dream of someday, soon, being on the road full-time. I would even settle for winters on the road and summers in Alaska if we could figure out a way to make a living that way. Ideas?? I even told Martin this morning that I would give up school temporarily to be on the road. Anyone that knows me well, knows that is huge!!

So, here we are settling back into a schedule. Trevor is here to stay. He went back to TN for a couple of weeks because he was committed to East TN Unschooling Camp, as a counselor, but will be back on the 24th to stay. Fall is approaching and the rainy season has begun. I'm excited to see what this next year brings us!! Bring it on!!

Authenticity

Calista shared a conversation she had with her friends today about religion.  She was a little confused that her friends got so upset when she told them she doesn't believe in heaven or hell, and she was somewhat taken back by the place of fear that they were coming from.  She told me she didn't think 10, 11, and 12 year olds should have to worry about such things.  She feels like everyone thinks they know everything and they REALLY don't and no matter how much you contemplate such things you will not KNOW the answers.  She feels like everyone should just stop trying so hard to find the answers and just LIVE.  I listened with open ears and an open heart.  One thing that struck me is that her beliefs on religion and God are somewhat different than mine and that's what really started me contemplating tonight.

Most children who come from a Christian background believe what they believe because that is what they have been taught to believe.  They don't even know how to make their own opinions about their beliefs because they've never been given that option.  I was told by a pastor one time that 80% of Christians became Christians as children.  80%!!!  What that tells me is that 80% of Christians don't hold their own beliefs but rather have been brainwashed to believe that.  That's just astounding to me!  And it always seems to come back to this thing they call hell, and the fear of it.  I lived most of my life, well into adulthood, living in that same fear and I'm so thankful to be free from it!!  I'm even more thankful that I'm raising my own children with that sense of freedom and that they will never have some of the same silly hang-ups that I have spent the last 8 years releasing myself from.

I have my own spiritual practices and they are different than every single one of my children, for my children hold their own opinions and have come to their separate beliefs on their own.  I would never dream of getting in their way or trying to sway them to believe one way or the other.

At the end of the conversation she said, "Mom, if I was going to be any religion I would be Pagan because it makes me feel good and I love doing rituals."  It made my heart smile that she is being authentic to who she is and what is speaking to her.  That is what I want for my children in all aspects of their life, that is my goal as I continue to raise my children in freedom; that they will be completely authentic and true to themselves.

Summer "Bucket List"

I have started a "Bucket List" for my summer.  I'm sure it will grow over the next month as I think of more things I want to add to it but this is a start:

Finish at least two triathalons.

Visit Homer.

Visit Seward.

Visit Talkeetna.

White water rafting in Denali.

Hike Crow Creek Pass.

Hike Pioneer Peak.

Go to the Forest Fair.

Wine Down Wednesday

I think Martin and I have found our new Wednesday tradition!  Before we went on our motorhome trip we went to Sabai (Thai food) every Wednesday; it was our date night.  I love traditions and rituals and miss this one in particular.  Last night, one of our favorite places, The Grape Tap, started a Wine Down Wednesday, in which they give you a small glass of wine paired with an amazing appetizer for $10.  Usually when we go to The Grape Tap we leave with a $100 bill so we were thrilled to pop in before dinner, have an appetizer and a little wine and leave with only a $20 bill:)

I think with this tradition we will invite other couples to join us every week.  A nice hour of small talk over a glass of wine:)  Check them out on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wasilla-AK/The-Grape-Tap/94662473582

With spring in the air I'm on a constant high these days.  I don't realize how hard winter is on me until spring comes.  It's been a wonderful couple of weeks; seems like my days are filled with fun and surrounded by people that inspire and lift me up. 

I've chosen friends wisely.  I don't have tons of friends but the ones I have enhance my life in so many wonderful ways!  I look forward to each day and the life I'm creating for myself.

The kids are continuing with their swimming.  Kev has Junior Olympics in a couple of weeks.  Tristan did a time trial on Saturday, to see if he could make some times for JO's, since he has only done one meet and only raced the 50 Free.  He tried for the 50 Free and the 100 Free.  He only missed the 50 by .2 of a sec. and the 100 by .4.  So close!!  For someone who has only been swimming since November that's awesome!  He is going to be on fire by the time high school swimming starts!

I've been teaching yoga a LOT!  A couple of our teachers have been gone so I've been subbing like crazy. I've slowly begun to creep my Sunday and Thursday class to a level II and students have rose to the challenge.  It's been a lot of fun.  It was also great to get my paycheck, especially after thousands of dollars of dental bills in the last couple of months:)  My trip to India has been confirmed; there were enough people that signed up and paid their deposit to make it a go.  I'm so excited!!  A few of the people going are on that list of people that I was speaking of in the second paragraph of this post, which is going to make it that much more enjoyable. 

Well, I know it is a quick post, just didn't want everyone to abandon my blog:)  I'm still here, just busy living life.  Will post more when I have the chance to sit for a longer period of time.

Hope everyone has as beautiful of a day as I'm going to have today.  Off to the pool for my swim......

Hiking season is about to begin for us.  Some of us have some lofty goals, such as Pioneer Peak and possibly (for me) Crow Pass, which is a 26 mile hike that takes two days.  We also have a family coming to visit us for the entire summer so we have a lot of little hikes that we want to do with them, not to mention the fishing trips, road trips, lake days, etc.  I'm really looking forward to this summer!! 

Whew, what a month! I feel like I have barely been keeping my nose above the water. It seems like things are happening, one after another, that makes me feel like I am cursed with bad karma. I've not had a very good attitude about it either. I set aside a certain amount of money that I knew we needed for dental bills. None of us had been to the dentist in a very long time; Calista never has been. Martin and the kids have all had their cleaning and check-ups and it is bleak. The amount of our dentail bills are 5x what I had planned on and I haven't even gone in yet. We also had some medical bills- my scoliosis, Martin's degeneration in his neck and his hip (which he's getting a hip replacement for), and Kev has kidney stones. Our car has broke down twice this month, with a total of $2400 in repairs, and our bathroom has a very bad leak (down into the entry way) and we have to rip it out. Uuugh!

What I really wanted to blog about though was gratitude. I have just been in a dark, dark place this last month and I think it's partly because we are at the tailend of winter, the light is just starting to come back and it's just that February funk. The last couple of days the fog has started to lift. The light is getting more obvious, the days are warmer AND I just made the decision to be happy. This afternoon I took out a book that my Stepmom bought me a few years back: Attitudes of Gratitude. I just needed to be reminded that being grateful is a choice.

It's interesting that I teach yoga and try to live a yogic life, I eat healthy, I meditate but I still fight these human conditions (imagine that:) In the first page of the book she mentions that so often people teach what they most need to learn.......................BINGO! She says, "I do not set myself up as an "expert", but rather a person on a path like the rest of us, each of us becoming the fullness of who he or she is meant to be." That just says it all! Now I understand why I teach yoga. I've always felt a little "inferior" when it comes to teaching, because I don't have the same amount of knowledge as some of my own yoga teachers, but I get so much positive feedback from my classes and students follow me from studio to studio so I've never been able to give it up. I understand now that the reason they may like me so much as a teacher is that I've allowed myself to be vulnerable and they see me as a fellow human being having the same experiences and struggles as they are having. It's easy to see our yoga teachers as something above us, someone who has attained this perfect inner peace that we are trying to attain as students, but all teachers are just fellow travelers wanting to share something amazing. So I keep teaching because I'm getting as much, or more, out of my classes as my students are.

If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
~ Lao Tzu

So...................I took a walk today so that I could reconnect with nature- I think that's inherent to human beings, whether we realize it or not. It made me feel so much better! Thursday I will head into Anchorage to do a little seed shopping to prepare for my garden this summer. I also need to repair the E string on my guitar so I can get back to practicing. I need to reconnect with those things that I am passionate about.


Today I am grateful because I have EVERYTHING I need and I have the ability to pay all my bills. I have an amazing life that I so often take for granted! I have this incredible relationship with my three children. I have so much!!!

Inside yourself or outside, you never have to change what you see, only the way you see it. ~Thaddeus Golas

I promise I have not given up on blogging:)

My computer got dropped a couple of weeks before Christmas and the display quit working. I could see the display in the right light but there was no backlight. After ordering a couple of parts trying to troubleshoot what the problem was it ended up being the actual backlight. It's a tiny, tiny bulb that looks like a miniature version of a long fluorescent bulb. We got the part in only to realize that some soldering has to be done. The long story short of it is that Martin hasn't had the time to sit and solder it so I've been doing most everything from my phone, with occasional chances to slip in on Martin's computer.

We had an awesome Christmas, the Christmas of all Christmases that I promised the kids:) My younger sister and her family, and my dad and his wife, came over in the morning for breakfast and gift opening and then in the afternoon we met some good friends (the Eries) up at Hatchers Pass for sledding. After the kids got that out of their systems we all came back over to our house for sandwiches and hot chocolate. New Years we spent with the Eries as well; just a nice relaxing evening munching on food and hanging out.

January has been mostly uneventful. The kids have been swimming a lot and we've had two meets this year. We head up to Fairbanks this Friday for a championship meet that Kev is competing in. We've had some car problems this month and are trying to figure out whether we want to buy a new car or not. Martin's car (the one we are both driving right now) is in the shop right now getting a new clutch put in. Then yesterday, as we were driving Kev's car around, his heater motor went out so we've been driving in a very cold car. When we pick Martin's car up we will drop Kev's car off:) If Martin's car doesn't get done by Friday we aren't sure what we are going to do for transportation up to Fairbanks.

We are catching up on some much needed dental work. Calista has never been to the dentist (11 years old) and the boys haven't been for a very long time. We don't have insurance so we don't go unless problems arise. That's coming to bite me in the butt right now. Thankfully, we are in a good financial position to be able to pay for it all because it's costing us a pretty penny. More appointments tomorrow, yay! We found out a couple of weeks ago that Kev has kidney stones. He's been experiencing some kidney pain so our doctor thought we should go in and have an ultrasound, which revealed stones. We are going through some tests to try and figure out what is causing them and of course, waiting for them to pass. I was also diagnosed with scoliosis after months of a very achy back. Not sure why it's just catching up with me at 37 years old but.... After several adjustments I'm feeling back to my good ol' self:)

I've been busy training for some triathalons. My goal is to do 3-4 this summer. I'm already registered for one and am waiting for another one to open up for registration. I am really LOVING the swimming part and realizing that maybe the kids get their love of water from me! I've mostly been running and swimming; going to add the biking here in a couple of weeks. Ren said I could have her road bike, since she is not planning on doing anymore triathalons, so now we just have to figure out our shipping method to get it up here:)

Other than that, not much new around here. Tonight we had a houseful of happy, spunky kids. Tristan had all of his good buddies over and Calista had some girlfriends for a "movie night". The boys ended up walking to the arcade that is about 2 miles from our house, in 10 degrees! Brrrr!!

#best09

I'm participating! Anyone want to join?

Dec.1 Trip. What was your best trip in 2009?

I got to meet both my sisters and their kids in Portland and have an amazing 12 days hanging out, going to the beach, shopping at Saturday's Market, visiting with my Grandma and Aunt and Uncle on the farm, and attending the Life is Good Conference. It had been four years since we had all been together (Robin and I live in the same town so we see each other often) so it was a very special time. Here are just a few pics:

Fall Happenings

I haven't been blogging much lately because I'm always on Facebook! So I will do some catch-up, if I can even remember all that we've been doing:)

September and October are always busy months for us, with highschool swim season in full swing. All of our meets are out of town; Soldotna, Homer, Kenai, Valdez, etc. We only had two home meets this year and two meets in Anchorage, all the rest were out of town. It gets a little crazy to say the least, as we try to attend all that we can. I missed a few this year, as I was in Fairbanks helping my most AWESOME friend, Sheli, transition from the hospital to home after spending a week in Seattle getting a cancerous tumor removed from her kidney. It was a beautiful nine days!! I got to snuggle lots and spend lots of wonderful one-on-one time with her incredible kids!! It was hard to say good-bye when it was time to come home. I miss living in the same town as Sheli when I could pop in whenever I wanted to!

Kev had a pretty average swim season, as he was fighting illness AGAIN!! Every swim season he has been sick almost for the entire two months, either with something like mono or just a constant cold/flu. We see a naturopathic doctor and she has really been trying to encourage Kevin to move just a little away from the vegan diet. Not only is he growing rapidly but he is an athlete, which makes it very hard to get everything you need in your diet. The men that do it are very scientific about it and keep careful track of what they put in their mouths. Kev has a very healthful diet but I don't think he is getting enough of what he needs to grow and be an athlete at the same time. He is slowly opening up to change. BUT, the last few weeks we have been pumping him up with protein shakes, Cultured Veggie's and such. He had the most AWESOME meet ever last weekend so it is making a huge difference! Now that he sees it he is ready to add SOME things that aren't vegan, like egg whites, to his diet so he is getting a bit more protein.

He bested his time on his 100 Fly at 1:00.55, missing his chance for state by .57 of a second. He was a little bummed but fired up to train hard and be at the top of the pack next year. The boys Medley Relay, that Kev swims the Fly for made it to state and got 1st in their region. He also bested his time for 100 back and is really close to a state time in that as well so next year should be awesome!! He will be swimming for club throughout the winter and next summer so he will get lots of training in.

Calista started swimming club two weeks ago and is really enjoying it. She is a hard worker and coach has been pretty impressed with her excitement and hard work. He called her a "beast"! Tristan has decided to try out as well, hopefully by the end of the week. Their coach is also the coach for the highschool so he's pretty tied up with the state meet coming up so it might be next week. Tristan is thinking that he wants to swim for the highschool next year as well, unfortunately, they only allow you to swim as a homeschooler if you are through the correspondence program or Twindley Bridge Charter school. I don't know if he is willing to go through that many loopholes to swim for the school, since it will mean doing curriculum, etc. If he decides that is what he wants to do I will support him 100%, just as I have with Kev.

We also said good-bye to Jared last month, after having him for five months. It was sad and hard to let him go but I think he was getting a bit homesick. We had so much fun with him and I hope he has LOTS of great memories to hold on to. I would take him every summer if I could:)

We still don't have any snow! Tristan is really wanting to get out and snowboard so he is not too happy. He said, the other day, "This winter sucks!", as if winter was almost over:) We have had lots of high winds over the last week or so but no snow. Weather is calling for sun the rest of the week so it might be a while before we see the white stuff. Our temps are hanging out right between 25-30 and I'm not complaining. It's going to make for a short winter.

Trust

This is my child who didn't learn how to read until he was 11 1/2 years old. There were a few people that were ultra-concerned. I wasn't concerned at all. I read to him lots, he was exposed to many different, wonderful experiences, he looked at books, and he went about living his life. I knew he would learn to read on his own time and in his own way and I was grateful that we didn't have him in public school where he would be put in special classes and ostracized by his peers. He wasn't stupid, far from it! Phonics was always a mystery to him; the rules always changed and that frustrated him to no end! That's just not the way he learned. And he certainly didn't learn by sitting at a desk. I don't think I've ever read him a book and had him sit still. When he was quite young he would be doing flips off the couch, cartwheels around the living room, or flipping something around in his hand and I would ask, "Tristan are you listening? Or do you want me to stop reading?" He would usually say, "I'm listening! ______ and _______ just happened." I was always amazed that he was hearing anything I said.

So you want to know how he learned how to read? Video games! Hours and hours of video games. I would sit for hours and hours with him, reading the captions at the bottom of the screen. And when I got tired of sitting and reading to him, Martin and Kevin would take their turns. No one got mad at him and told him that he should really learn how to read, they just patiently read to him knowing too that he would learn on his own time and in his own way.

Then one day, it seemed he just woke up and he knew how to read. He reads books now that are considered at "his level", whatever that means. You could have him read you a book and then have another 14 year old read that same book, that maybe learned how to read at 6 years of age, and you would never know which one learned how to read at 6 and which one learned how to read at 11 1/2.

NOW you will most likely find him as you do in the above pictures, with his nose in a book. I often think how much he would like to read if someone had tried to force him to read before he was ready. I know my husband was a late reader too, and in public school by the way, and he really wasn't much of a reader until his adult life. Thankfully, I had his mom to reassure me that Tristan would read on his own time, just as Martin had. Not that I needed that reassurance but it's nice.

Tristan bought the Eragon Trilogy with his OWN money and hasn't stopped reading since. I believe he just finished the second book.

TRUST! If we could only trust our children and not treat them like they are vessels that need filling. All they need is for us to be there, available to find them the resources and materials when they get a spark of interest in something and honoring them enough to know that they will learn what they need, when they need it, in their own way and in their own time.

Pictures from the last several weeks

The last few weeks have been filled mostly with fun and a little bit of sadness. A few weeks ago the owner of the studio that I teach at, Linda, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Within two weeks of the diagnosis she was in surgery to have a lumpectomy. They were able to get everything and luckily there was no lymph involvement. She will start radiation next week and hopefully she will never have to face this again. She is seeing a naturopath here in town for immune support as well. I'm very lucky to have this amazing woman in my life; she has had a cheerful attitude through it all with a few "F**k's" here and there, as she puts it, and chooses to live in the moment through it all.

A week after she was diagnosed one of the most important people in my life, my VERY VERY dear friend, Sheli, called to say that she was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Okay, now I'm saying F***!! At this point there is a 10% chance that it may not be cancer so we are holding out hope for that. She goes into surgery next Wed. to have part of the kidney removed. When she gets home the week following I'm going to head up to Fairbanks to help take care of her and her family, as she will be unable to drive, lift, etc. WE LOVE YOU SHELI!!! Again, so blessed to have these INCREDIBLE women in my life; she is cheering everyone else up that is feeling sad for her, lol. She refuses to listen to the "Oh, poor Sheli" scenario, which makes it easier for all of us.

And now for the fun that has been happening in our life:) The following tells it all:

We celebrated Jared's 16th birthday. Jared is my nephew who has been staying with us, from Tennessee, since May and we have him until Oct.22! It's been a fun summer and such a great chance to really get to know him. I hope he comes back next summer:)

We took the dogs up to Hatchers Pass to let them run. You can see how much room they have:) And yes, we really do live in this BEAUTIFUL state!

Don't they just look so happy!?

Then on to Homer for Kev's swim meet. We stopped here to see if we could see the Beluga's breeching. Unfortunately, we have not seen them this year- such a bummer! It's still beautiful isn't it? It surrounds us!!

Yes, I do believe someone lives in this houseboat. Very eccentric, I would like to knock on the door and visit:)

And yes, there are beaches in Alaska!! Actually lots of them! I know, not the warm, lay-in-the-sun type of beaches but fun to play on anyway. Homer is one of my favorite places in Alaska.

It was just beautiful while we were there. Don't I look happy too?

Jared says, "I love hanging my head out the window. It's SO refreshing!" Especially when it's fresh ocean air!

We found a driftwood playground!

The boys were having WAY too much fun with this bull kelp!

Always fun things to find on the beach. I think she had just found some crabs here.

Oh, I almost forgot, we were here for Kev's swim meet:) Na, I didn't forget, we were just enjoying the beach in between events. The boys won their Medley Relay, so fun to watch. Kev's butterfly has improved SO much since last year- fun to see!

And finally, we celebrated Kev's 17th birthday! 17!! But I can still pass for his sister so we are good:) I can, can't I? Martin says where the heck did the last 17 years go? I said it went by fast because we were having so much fun with our kids!!

It's blogging weather again:) I haven't posted much in the last several months because it's been summer! We are just out and about too much to take the time to blog. Weather is cool, we are inside more, and things have slowed down quite a bit so it's back to blogging more often.

This is circulating around Facebook today. http://www.onlinebestcolleges.com/blog/2009/50-eye-opening-unschooling-blogs/ My blog made the list! This is a great list of unschooling blogs! Whether you are just curious about unschooling, want to learn more about it, or are thinking about moving towards this philosophy these blogs are some great resources for more information. My blog made it under "untraditional families" because we were living and traveling in our motorhome. Though we are no longer living that lifestyle we still dream of living that way again, and next time it will be more permanent.

We all went and watched Taking Woodstock the other night. All the kids LOVED the movie! It made me just long for a more simple lifestyle and made me remember how happy I was when we were living in the motorhome. Not that I'm not happy now, it was just one of those times in my life where there was absolute, complete contentment. Calista was reminiscing and longing also. She was the only child that really liked living that way and would like to do it again. She said to me last night that it was hard on her when we bought this house because the motorhome was her house and she was used to it. We've been trying to sell it, off and on, and every time she gets a little teary to think it might not be around, even though we don't use it much. Lots of memories in that motorhome!

Either way I guess we don't really live a "traditional" lifestyle, in many ways, so I guess it still applies:) I've been more thankful than ever this year for our unschooling life and have been posting more on Facebook than I have been blogging. When I watch my kids live the life of THEIR choosing and watch them be so passionate about the things they choose I know we are doing the right thing. It's brought so many wonderful people and experiences into our lives.....................................and JOY, JOY, JOY!!

Since I've escaped the grasp of dogmatic religion I've done lots and lots of soul searching and research. It's been an incredibly liberating journey! This is an interview with the author of God Without Religion- Sankara Saranam. I really enjoyed it and it reflects a lot of my own feelings.

http://www.godwithoutreligion.com/interview.shtml

A picture taken of me a few years ago, in between bouts of tanning.

It's another one of those weeks where I am digging deep - trying to get down to my true AUTHENTIC SELF and let it shine through. Not the part of me that I let everyone else see but the REAL me!

This week it has to do with my need to tan all the time. Seems like such a silly thing to spend much time thinking about right? For me it's not about how unhealthy it is or even about how it ages you because I really like being tan and I'm willing for whatever the consequence of that action brings. No, it's about being authentic. It's about the stress of maintaining something that I'm not.

Ironically, I got my Yoga Journal in the mail last night and begin flipping through the pages and one of the first articles in the magazine this month is about a woman struggling with a similar issue- going gray. The last two paragraphs of the article express my same feelings over this tanning issue:

"I like the time and money I save not going to the salon every three weeks. I like the energy I save not thinking about my hair. I think about yogic notions of satya (truthfulness) and santosha (contentment) and realize that I still have some letting got to do: of my resentment that society is ageist, that older men are powerful while older women are invisible.

Going gray was letting go of a way of thinking that had become a burden. Yoga is about letting go of whatever prevents us from being our most authentic self. Just like the experience of yoga, feeling good about going gray has been a loosening of the obstacles to healthy, flowing energy. And besides, how long could I pretend to be someone different from who I am, while teaching others to feel comfortable with themselves."

So here I am, in the letting go process. Celebrating me- pale and beautiful. Accepting it. Embracing it. And when every last remnant of my tan is gone I'm going to do a photo session capturing all the parts of my body that I love so when I feel that discontentment rise to the surface I will look at those pictures and rejoice- for this amazing body and all the hard work it does for me.

Summertime FUN!!!

We've been having so much fun this summer. We've had awesome weather that has allowed us to do lots outdoors. These are pictures documenting some of the fun we've been having.

Had lunch with my good friend, Leslie, and her son, Garrett, who were in town for a few short hours, from Fairbanks.

Jared and Kev swimming at Bodgett Lake. We met a rockin' unschooling family that live on the lake and have had us over a couple of times to enjoy!

The girls waiting for their turn to launch off the rope swing into the lake.

Calista is flying!

Kev let go of the rope too soon and landed in the rocks. Lani fixed him up with some good Spidey and Batman band-aids. She was afraid it might give his identity away;)

We went to the Moose Dropping Festival in Talkeetna and spent some time hanging out by the river. Martin and Calista are skipping rocks.

Calista searches for some good skipping rocks.

Martin creates some obos.

Some colorful people hanging down by the river. I just thought it was a cool picture.

Enjoying my daughter's friendship.

Calista and I doing tree pose on a log. I love doing yoga out in nature.

Calista doing tree pose. She was here for quite a while. She has awesome focus!

More yoga!

And more yoga!

We leave our mark for others to enjoy:)

My sister, Robin, and her husband, Richard.

Rylee and Calista having fun when the wake from the boats hit them.

Richard and Rex launched their boats on Cottonwood Lake and spent the day pulling us on tubes. It was a blast!! This is Rex's boat that he built in two months. Very talented guy!

Calista and I take our turn:)

Richard pulling Calista and I.

Rylee and Calista.

Robin and I. They tried really hard to throw us, without success I might add.

Martin and Kev.

See! Roxie IS a lap dog!

Rylee, Kev, and Jared after hours of tubing.

Jared enjoying a first for him. He had a blast!! We are trying to give him a good time during his summer with us:)

Jared and Kev take one last run before we wrap up the day. What a GRAND time we had!!! Thank you Rex and Richard!!!