This is the new Subway commercial.................verbatim!
A young girl, 13/14ish is narrating:
"Everything is decided for me- when to get up, what to wear, what to read, and, of course, when to go to bed. But, at Subway I have the power to choose and I EAT IT UP!"
Sadly, this is the reality for most kids. And we wonder why teenagers rebel. I can't imagine how I would feel if my husband tried to make those same decisions for me. Why is it that we think kids feel so much different than ourselves and why, even more, do we feel that kids aren't capable of making their own decisions? Especially when it comes to their own bodily functions! I hear so many parents state that if they allowed their teens to make their own decisions that they won't make good ones. The problem is that these same kids have never been allowed to make their own decisions so they have no self-control or self-discipline to pull from when they are allowed to make their own decisions.
My kids have been allowed to make their own decisions about their lives. The only decisions that they don't have a lot of control over is things like going places when they can't drive, etc. On those things, we decide together so that everyone is happy, at least mostly happy. We try to come to a middle ground on all things. I don't deal with teenage rebellion, thank goodness! True democracy exists in our household and it works pretty darn good.
I'm thankful that, through a series of life experiences, I begin to examine how I was doing things, how it was when I was a child; how I felt when I had decisions made for me and was treated unfairly, and how I wanted them to be different for my family. And, starting with my sister, Ren, thank you to all you wonderful people (mostly unschoolers) who challenged me to think outside the box. Because of you, and my willingness to listen, I enjoy a joyful family life and I REALLY, REALLY enjoy my teens!!!
I'm sorry to everyone out there dealing with "teenage rebellion". Maybe you should back up and start living in their shoes for a day and see how it feels. Remember how you felt when you were a teen and all your life decisions were made for you, down to sitting in that prison we call school when you had to ask to even go to the bathroom, when you were told when to eat, how to learn, when to learn, what to learn, and all those other decisions that the adults in your life made for you. Think how different things could have been for you had the adults in your life trusted you and allowed you control of your life. Just imagine!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Another Fabulous Week!!
It's been a little bit of a crazy week!
We started out the week celebrating Kev's 16th birthday! I feel so blessed to have this child in my life. It's just crazy how fast time just flies by. We were reminiscing about the day of his birth, gets me a little emotional:) He's this incredible human being that I thank God for every day. He has brought balance into this family. Martin and I are both fairly high-energy, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type people and Kev is this very methodical, deep thinking, chillax-type person who has to bring us back down to earth on a regular basis. I've learned so much from him. He is also a very passionate individual with a very clear idea of who he is and what he is here for. He is very up on politics and is passionate about the rights of animals, veganism, photography, history, writing, and music. There are a few other things too:) It's hard to keep up with him sometimes. Happy Birthday Kevin!!! We love you!!
For the last two months I have been working at our favorite coffee shop, Pandemonium, owned by some friends of ours. Martin was in between jobs and we were 7 weeks without any income and I really needed to fill in the gap, at least to cover groceries. I had SO much fun working there that I thought I would just keep working, even after regular paychecks starting coming in. I was mostly working in the early morning hours and getting off by 11:00 but the last two weeks I have been putting in 32 hours each week. Calista has been having an increasingly difficult time having me gone and something just snapped last week and I gave my notice. I made a committment to my children the day they were born and they will always come first. The house was also falling apart around me and I just can't function in chaos. The kids weren't getting regular meals because they tend to get a little lazy about eating when I'm not around and it generally just wasn't working out too well. I will miss working at Pandemonium but not as much as I miss being with my kids 24/7. I have two more days, just working a few hours each day and then I am back home full time.
Kev, Calista, and I also started taking guitar lessons from my friend, Josh Fryfogle. If you ever want to listen to his music he is on my friends list on Myspace:) Calista and I bought new guitars last week with our Permanent Funds, the money that the state of Alaska gives every resident each year. So I've been practicing like crazy and can't wait until I can actually play something. I know that I have to be patient, which I'm not so much by nature, lol. We learned a couple of cords this last week so at least it sounds like something:)
We started out the week celebrating Kev's 16th birthday! I feel so blessed to have this child in my life. It's just crazy how fast time just flies by. We were reminiscing about the day of his birth, gets me a little emotional:) He's this incredible human being that I thank God for every day. He has brought balance into this family. Martin and I are both fairly high-energy, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type people and Kev is this very methodical, deep thinking, chillax-type person who has to bring us back down to earth on a regular basis. I've learned so much from him. He is also a very passionate individual with a very clear idea of who he is and what he is here for. He is very up on politics and is passionate about the rights of animals, veganism, photography, history, writing, and music. There are a few other things too:) It's hard to keep up with him sometimes. Happy Birthday Kevin!!! We love you!!
For the last two months I have been working at our favorite coffee shop, Pandemonium, owned by some friends of ours. Martin was in between jobs and we were 7 weeks without any income and I really needed to fill in the gap, at least to cover groceries. I had SO much fun working there that I thought I would just keep working, even after regular paychecks starting coming in. I was mostly working in the early morning hours and getting off by 11:00 but the last two weeks I have been putting in 32 hours each week. Calista has been having an increasingly difficult time having me gone and something just snapped last week and I gave my notice. I made a committment to my children the day they were born and they will always come first. The house was also falling apart around me and I just can't function in chaos. The kids weren't getting regular meals because they tend to get a little lazy about eating when I'm not around and it generally just wasn't working out too well. I will miss working at Pandemonium but not as much as I miss being with my kids 24/7. I have two more days, just working a few hours each day and then I am back home full time.
Kev, Calista, and I also started taking guitar lessons from my friend, Josh Fryfogle. If you ever want to listen to his music he is on my friends list on Myspace:) Calista and I bought new guitars last week with our Permanent Funds, the money that the state of Alaska gives every resident each year. So I've been practicing like crazy and can't wait until I can actually play something. I know that I have to be patient, which I'm not so much by nature, lol. We learned a couple of cords this last week so at least it sounds like something:)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
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